Arranged Marriage

Vol 1: It's about time (1)

Ever since Karlyle left, Ash has been trapped in an invisible fear. For hours, lost in hopeless despair, he only fidgets with the keys Karlyle left behind. Where should he start fixing it?

Sometimes, a poor design should boldly be thrown away, rather than holding on to it and trying to fix it. In the process, focusing on existing things is more helpful. Learn from your mistakes and achieve better results.

Clearly, he and Karlyle did not treat each other the same way, but he still did not know how to approach Karlyle. When being with Karlyle for over a year, Ash definitely did his best, but Karlyle didn't love him, and Ash could not bear it. So he gave up on the relationship.

He thought it was right to let Karlyle go for his sake, but after witnessing Karlyle's distant treatment towards him, he realized that that assumption of his was absurd. He told Karlyle that he would keep the connection between them and that he would give Karlyle the help he needed. However, looking at Karlyle as he said the final last words, there's no way Karlyle would let him do that.

How ridiculous of him to think that he can still see Karlyle even after they break up. Although he himself told Karlyle to start a new marriage, he was never able to imagine an Omega by Karlyle's side. His love is deeper than he thought.

And what Ash cannot accept is that he kicked this relationship over with his own feet. Karlyle said no, yet he persuaded him to agree.

As the night from a week ago keeps coming back to him, his breathing gets tighter. He is quite open-minded so he hardly gets sensitive. However, for the first time, he has had to take mood stabilizers. Whenever he felt stressed about his work or attended a noble party, even when he got sarcasm straight at his face, he got better when he saw Karlyle.

He was too greedy.

He wanted to see the smile Karlyle occasionally showed more often, he wanted Karlyle to rely on him just as he quietly relied on Karlyle, and he wanted Karlyle to love him. Karlyle was already giving him a special treatment to the best of his ability.

Time passes and dawn becomes morning. He has been looking at the suit hanging on his bedroom wall all night. Funny enough, he was looking forward to this party just yesterday. Meeting Karlyle's family is not exactly comfortable, but he doesn't hate them since they all share certain similarities to Karlyle.

This party is to celebrate good news, he guesses he has vaguely expected to have a good time with Karlyle even though it wasn't the right time for that. Before, he used to have a lot of misconceptions about Karlyle's family. The smell of Karlyle is gradually fading away. Ash lays beside the spot that has been left unused for quite a while on the bed. Closing his eyes, he buries his face in the blanket. It smells like Karlyle.

He misses having Karlyle in his arms. Wrapping his arms around Karlyle's waist and hugging him tight always gives Ash satisfaction. He wants to leave marks on the pale skin that is so vulnerable to stimulation, and he wants to kiss Karlyle while looking into each other's eyes. He wants to feel the hesitant hands and soft force when Karlyle wraps his hands around his shoulders and neck.

Everytime he sees Karlyle, he feels this lust like an animal. He wants to hug him, kiss him and trap him, constantly leaving traces on him. Each time Karlyle endured his caress because he didn't like it, the desire built up in him like poison, leading him to making this decision today.

He doesn't want to know what it's like to love deeply someone who doesn't love him back.

The self-blame pours out as it feels like he's following in his mother's footsteps. He reaches out and touches the spot Karlyle used to lie. The bed feels empty without him.