Vol 1: A year (4)

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Hi !!!!! You must have been waiting for this story right? This chapter is a little short, but I'll be back with it quickly! Thanks for the patience ❤️

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(Ash POV)

Ash hasn't slept in days. Lying alone on this bed is too cold. It's spring, and the temperature in the room is exactly 25.5 degrees. Yet the air is freezing. Having been lying and staring blankly at the ceiling, he eventually gets up. The sun has already risen. He's been awake all night.

Ash nervously runs his hand through his disheveled hair and gets out of bed. He walks to the door and checks the temperature panel. He glances at the number set exactly at 25.5 degrees. This is Karlyle's favorite temperature regardless of season.

A faint smile appears on his dull face. Although it may seem like Karlyle doesn't have many preferences considering his stoic face, he clearly has preferences. Seeing how he likes an exact number, it seems that Karlyle prefers things to be neat. Yet he doesn't mind rough rolling when horseback riding or doing other activities.

Is that all? Karlyle loves to drink and he has a lot of valuable wines in his possession. It's a shame that Karlyle is a heavy drinker. He'd love to see Karlyle being drunk. If so, Karlyle may let himself loose. Then he'll get to know more about Karlyle's feelings.

Rubbing the panel that hasn't been touched in a while, Ash turns up the temperature. Karlyle's body temperature is much lower than his, and Karlyle isn't here. All that combined turns the room into an empty and cold place. Karlyle's traces are everywhere, overshadowing the years when he couldn't sleep if there were someone next to him.

He hopes Karlyle is doing well.

Considering how he packed his bags and left with no regrets, Karlyle must be doing very well. There has been no contact so far. This expectation of his is ridiculous. Why would Karlyle contact someone who just broke up with him? Karlyle said no, yet he persuaded Karlyle to agree. He brought up the divorce, but that was a lie.

Every second, every day, Karlyle is in his mind. Yet he can't get enough of it. Whatever he does, Karlyle comes to his mind. Meanwhile, time passes by painfully slowly. He could pretend to forget if he were under a pile of work, but he isn't in the right state to do his work properly.

He doesn't even want to meet anyone, so he only contacted his partner at the studio. Ignoring the piling of texts and calls, he wanders aimlessly around the house. Everytime he imagines Karlyle in the empty space, he can't hold back the regret.

He shouldn't have brought up the divorce.

It's the decision he made after thinking over it for a month. After considering it thousands of times, he was convinced that this was better for Karlyle. It would also be a positive decision in the long run. Karlyle would not be bound by obligations, and he would not have to make selfish coercion in the name of love.

But....if he had known it would be this painful, he should have just said nothing. He could have let Karlyle hold out until he couldn't and brought the divorce first, right? After the time they spent together, Ash realizes that being miserable with Karlyle by his side is incomparably better than without him.

Ash spends a meaningless day replaying the events of that night countless times in his imagination. It's the first time in his life that this has happened. He's met and dated a lot of people, but he's never felt this painful after a breakup.

One year is short compared to the time he spent with past lovers. Ash clearly loved all of his past lovers and was devoted to them during their time together. So it's not that the weight of the breakup is different. They just broke up because it was time to do so.

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