Arranged Marriage

Vol 2: Chapter 8

After finishing the consultation with Archibald, Ash is nowhere to be seen. According to Mariam, Ash received word that a new variety of figs had arrived at the farm he frequented, so he has gone to fetch them.

'He also added that he was sorry for breaking the promise not to leave your side. He asked me to look after you just for today. Oh my, he's so cute.'

Mariam says such a right thing, Karlyle nods in agreement. And as a result, he has some time alone for the first time in a while. After not being apart for over two months, Ash's absence feels particularly acute. Instead of freedom, he feels empty and bored.

He must have gotten used to having Ash by his side in the meantime.

As he walks through the garden of the large mansion, he stares at the path under his feet. Ash's voice, always talking nonstop beside him, rings in his ears.

'This week, let's check out the Roman Baths and the salon next to it. I heard they used to take hot spring baths there? If you were born in that era, would you use that service?'

'That kind of place is dangerous, it's best not to enter, Ash. There was a case where a girl who swam there sadly died of meningitis. The bath would not have been clean even in the distant past when it was actually used.'

'As expected, our Lyle knows everything.'

He misses Ash so much that it feels like the time he spent doing everything on his own and enduring silently in the past is a lie. When Ash is around, even walking is enjoyable, but now, without any emotion, it's just calm. The same as before, when he was calm and peaceful without any storms.

After realizing this, it finally hits him that he might have been lonely all his life. It's only after meeting Ash that he knows about other emotions. There was no such silence in the beautiful experiences he gave him. The calm he feels now is not peace, but loneliness.

When it dawns on him what a huge gift Ash has been giving him so far, Karlyle's heart breaks apart as he figures out what he has not been able to do for Ash. He was only thinking about not disappointing Ash, but did not consider how to make him happy.

So how can he make Ash happy? Will he be a little happy if he gives him a gift that will never be found in this world?

Of course, it's no doubt that Ash will like whatever Karlyle gives him. However, this gift is not what needs to be found right away. As he continues to ponder, something suddenly comes to his mind. It is Ash's sincere whisper that 'If Lyle is happy, I'm happy too'.

Then, what should he do to make himself happy?

Surprisingly, the answer comes quickly. The impulse that has been lingering in him for sometime finally breaks out without missing its opportunity.

He wants to touch Ash. He wants to feel his husband more than just holding hands and bird kisses. He wants to kiss him deeply, to intertwine his tongue with him, to fully inhale Ash's luring pheromones. Beyond simply being sexually intimate, this desire is unavoidable since Ash and him haven't had a close moment for a long time.

What he wants is clear, but the question is whether Ash wants it. During the last two months, he has felt him skip over the moment when a lip kiss should have happened next, and there was another moment like that this morning.

There must be a reason why Ash acts this way.... but he doesn't know why.

Frustration builds up in him. No matter how much he worries, he can't completely read Ash's mind unless he were him. Keep thinking like this won't solve anything.

As he quietly considers Ash's feelings, he finally realizes what Ash has been meaning to say. 'I want you to talk to me'.

If he doesn't tell Ash, Ash won't know. No matter how well you know the other person, it's ultimately just a guess based on experience.