Chiara Daveys is loving a good life in England - if you ignore her constant struggle with food, lack of a guardian and how she's constantly working to pay the bills.
At 17 years old, she's been unaware of her 6 brothers who have spent the 14 years o...
This chapter is mainly centred around her eating disorder. Ik I said I wouldn't give warnings ab this but I thought I should bc it's pretty much the whole chapter.
This one will be a quickie as it's taken well over a week for me to actually start writing this.
When I publish this chapter, I'm going to remove the photographic evidence from chapter 15 as hopefully by then those who want to see it will have seen it.
And finally, my dinner will be ready soon.
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Eventually, the time came where I had to force myself downstairs and into the dining room which I had to be given directions to.
Which, in other words, means it's time for dinner.
I can't exactly pin point the beginning of my struggles with food. And I know I've got these struggles, I'm more than aware.
And I've often wondered if my constant battle to lose weight just added more weight on my shoulders.
It could be argued that I was never even close to being overweight. And that'd be true.
But, for a long time now, I've just had this constant voice inside of my head, telling me that if I ate that meal, it'd make me overweight. And I wanted to avoid that. At all costs.
Now, I wouldn't necessarily call what I'm doing starving myself, just that sometimes I don't allow myself to eat.
I eat enough to keep me going. Most of the time.
A year and a half ago, I started slipping up. This is how Oscar, Ryder and Adam found out.
Oscar and Adam both witnessed me fainting at different times, whereas Ryder noticed through his observing.
After many conversations and many attempts at helping me, I made the conscious effort not to slip up, thus eating enough to survive.
A small bit everyday.
I've never gone as far as to force myself to throw up, so I know this struggle I have isn't as bad as others, therefore I can't complain.
Sitting in front of a plate of food, at a table with a bunch of men I've only met in the past week, is fairly daunting.
But, they've taken me into their home and made the effort to go and bring me here, so the least I can do is eat a meal Harry prepared for me.
It's a plate of Cacio e pepe, which I would usually love, but my recent struggle with food has taken the joy out of certain meals.
I'm brought into a couple different conversations by my brothers - not including Taylor who doesn't talk to me - which helps with distracting me from my plate full of calories.
Eventually, I have eaten all I can, and I'm proud of myself. I ate a little over a quarter of the plate and noticed Noah eyeing it up so I just silently slide over the plate to him.
He looks up at me, "are you sure you're done?"
"Yeah, I'm sure," I smile reassuringly.
Harry had obviously zoned in on our short conversation as he says, "are you sure, Chiara? You haven't eaten a lot," he furrows his brows.
"Yeah, I'm not that hungry. Probably because of jet lag," I make up an excuse. Is that even a real thing?
I swallow down a sip of water to avoid saying anything else.
I don't really like water.
"Am I okay to go upstairs?" I ask, slowly pushing my chair out from under the table.
"Of course, Principessa, by the way I'll be coming up shortly to have a quick conversation with you about some stuff," Giovanni says.
I just nod and get up from my chair.
"Thank you for the food, Harry," I smile.
Even if I couldn't eat half of it.
(AN - my eras tour bracelet kit came like a week ago and I've started making bracelets (my date is in 13 days) and I've made a whole load of TS ones, but I've also been making ones for my family😭
Like I made a debut one that said 'Ur Gay' and ended up giving it to one of my older brothers.)
(I feel rly bad uploading these rly short chapters so I'm uploading chapter 18 which is also short to double the shortness and make it bigger)
