23.

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(AN - I was threatened into double updating 😔 so I had to write another chapter to keep ahead of myself 😔😔

Mocks are cooking me and eating me alive rn istg, I did higher biology today. COOKED. English language P2 tomorrow. COOKED.

Although my sparkling, glittering, shining, light at the end of this tunnel (this week) is that on Sunday I'm going to Wembley to see Taylor Swift. OHMYGOD it's actually been so quick.

I found out I was going on Christmas, and I thought it would take forever.HELLO? WTF, LESS THAN A WEEK. LIKE ITS TUESDAY RN.)

⚠️TW grief⚠️

It's basically the whole chapter, so don't feel bad if you have to skip it, do what's best for you.

It's basically the whole chapter, so don't feel bad if you have to skip it, do what's best for you

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Today is a weird day.

It's not a particularly special day - I'm fairly certain it's a Tuesday - but it's weird.

Not a good weird, just a weird kind of weird that's bordering bad weird.

And I can't seem to get out of bed. Or speak. Or eat (not a particularly new thing). Or reach for my phone.

The only thing I seem to be capable of doing right now is staring blankly at the wall opposite my bed, curled up in my sheets with my duvet fisted in my hand.

I miss my mum.

Like, a lot.

I'm not sure what time it is right now; I'm not sure I care about the time; I'm not sure why this grief is hitting me now.

Someone opens my door and before I can tell who it is, I'm shutting my eyes and pretending to be asleep.

"Chiara?" Noah whispers, "oh," he must see me 'sleeping', "I'll come find you later, sleep well sorellina," he kisses my forehead.
[Sorellina]

The kind gestures from my twin cause me to squeeze my covers tighter in my grasp. I'm such a bitch.

He leaves the room and I struggle to breathe out the air stuck in my lungs.

There's this weird, tight feeling in my chest and it's making me tear up.

Then my covers are touching too much of my legs, I can feel my curls at the back of my neck and my duvet sheet is too far up.

I kick them off, wanting this feeling of being trapped to be gone, and swing my legs over the side of my bed, chest - for some reason - heaving.

I just need to get over to the chair.

There's a knock on my bedroom door disrupting my racing thoughts.

Before I can force myself back into my covers to keep up my sleeping act, the door opens and I desperately hope it's not Noah.

I don't think I can be a happy twin right now.

To my relief, it's not my older twin, it's my oldest brother.

Giovanni takes little less than a second to assess my current situation before he's making his way over to me.

"Principessa, breathe," he says, showing me his hands before placing them on my shoulders.

He gently but surely pushes my shoulders back, sitting me up straighter and allowing more oxygen into my airways.

It takes a moment, but I slowly and surely manage to calm myself down enough for Giovanni to let go of my shoulders and come to sit besides me on my bed.

I sit, blankly staring at an empty space on the floor whilst Giovanni is probably analysing me, wondering what nut case he brought into his home a couple weeks ago.

"You missing Mum?" He asks.

How did he get it right first try?

I just nod my head and his facial expression softens significantly.

He nods his head too, seemingly contemplating.

"She'd be so incredibly proud of you, Chiara," he reassures me.

I inhale a shaky breath at his words.

"I know she would be. Because I'm so proud of you. I'm so lucky to have a strong, intelligent, brave, slightly annoying, little sister here with me," he moves his face so that I can't avoid looking into his eyes.

"Really?" I ask, voice weak.

"From what I remember of our mother, I see a lot of her in you," he tells me.

"You do?" My brows furrow.

I didn't think there could be someone who's half the woman my mother was.

But apparently I'm like her.

He nods, "you're so kind, you care so much about others and I know you'd stick up for others. Just like Mum did."

I feel my tears dry and a small smile spread across my face.

"Come here," he opens his arms and I lean myself on his chest, wrapping my arms around his torso.

"You feel this way again and you come to me, okay?" He mutters into my hair.

"I love you, Principessa, we all do."

"I love you too," I reply into his chest.

It's the first time I've told him that and he tightens his arms around me.

After a few moments, I lean back and wipe at my cheeks, feeling the tightness in my face after having cried a lot.

"I'm going to shower and then I'll come downstairs," I tell him, getting up from my bed.

"Okay, I'll see you when you come down," he kisses my forehead before leaving my room.

I shower and get changed before heading downstairs like I said I would.

Immediately, I'm greeted by Taylor shoving my head lightly, "I was wondering why I couldn't smell a stinking attitude all day."

How lovely.

(AN - IM SEEING TSWIZZLE TMRW I ACTUALLY CANT RN

Stop but I've got mild cramps rn and so I'm scared that I'm going to start my period either today or tomorrow. The first and second days are always the worst for me and I have cramps that are so bad I can't move.

So i will be taking medication in the car.)

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