It's Always My Fault

Chapter Twenty Three

After my break down Scott when to his room to get ready even though we both want to stay but now we both can't be happy over my mother. Why does she get to be happy but I don't? I want to be with Scott and I don't care what others have to say about it. Dale should get involved with this, I mean now he and my Mom are in engaged and he should say something instead of suffer in silence.

I just want to run away with Scott and live my happy life with him that we could be. 

I walked to my bathroom and got into the shower I wait until the water turn a warm temperture before stepping in. Everything I have said and have kept for years have burst out and still she doen't even care at all, what did I ever do to make her hate me so much? All I have done was try, I have been trying my whole life and still I will never be her perfect daughter.

As the water hit my face as I step in I imagine Scott in here with me, his arms wrapped around my waist leaning his head on my shoulder while the water hits our face, our bodies. I can picture our kisses deep and passion and begging for more.

All I ever want was to feel loved and find what it was. With Matt it was sweet, gentle, and nothing more but a high school sweetheart with him. He was my first person I wanted to love, I was not sure if I was in love or knew what it was. But with Scott it is passion, strong, my heart won't stop beating for him and it is like a drug that I want more of him, a obession that I can't get away from and he makes me feel things I can't explain; Scott is who I want.

His in my dreams, my thoughs, my life I want him.

Once I got out of the shower and did my body skin care I walked back into my room and as I was about to open my wardrobe to pick some dress out, I notice a box on my bed. I walked over to it and open it with curious what is inside it and to my surprise it is a dress. A long silky black dress comes down to your feet, it had thin straps on it.

My lips parted in no words to describe this beauty I am seeing. I then see a note on top of the dress, I pick it up and open it to read what the note says, my heart is beating faster and my hands are shaking over this feeling.

London,

You are who I desire, you are in my head, my dreams I don't give a shit about are parents if they can't accept that we are in love then so be it, this dress was my mothers when she was young I want you to wear it.

Nothing can be broken when it can be fix by someone else you desire for.

S. J

My eyes filled with tears not of pain and sadness then before, that Scott desire me aswell. He is such a nutshell to even tell me he loves me but not in words. I do want to hear him say it but I am also scared to hear them.

I put the dress on as it hits down to my feet, it is a perfect fit and makes my body shape look good. I put a pair of black heels on as I look myself in the mirror. Black does suit me well enough I have to admit. I did my hair and makeup doing a smoking eye makeup and put some medium pink lipstick to go with it. All I did for my hair was staighten it with an iron straighter making sure not to burn myself.

By that time past I was ready. I took a deep breathe as I open my bed room door and find Scott standing there in a good looking suit with a goffey smile written on his face.

"You look like out of a movie, London" Scott said looking at me up and down. I giggle moving a piece of my hair out of my face.

"No more hidding" I siad not wanting to hide what we got now.

"No more hidding"  Scott repeat what I said.

He then reach out for me to take his hand and as I our fingers touch lightly I felt like my heart was going to jump out. This was my worst mistake to come here even though I could start somewhere in London but now I want to start somewhere with Scott away from our family, just us two alone anywhere but here.

As Scott and I link arms like out of a fairy tale book I have read and dream to be in we walked down the staircase like it's just us two as our parents look up and watch us. My mothers face shown pure anger but nothing can make me sad if I have my nutshell by my side.

Dale sigh and shake his head but I can see the smile on his face. He knows he can't seperate true love so seeing us maybe a sign of hope he sees towards Scott.

Once we got to the bottom step my Mom cross her arms with a scoff in her. She said not to have eyes on me I don't bring those eyes they find as I am young and beautiful and that is what people want. Young and beautiful women; like myself.

"Never listen to me. I have raised a toy" My Mother said pinching her nose. I rolled my eyes while keeping my head high and tall. I look the corner of my eye to see Scott smirk on his face.

"No. Nana raised me. She raised a queen" I said and I can hear Dale couthing up trying to hide the laugh he had. I look at him and smile which he gave me a wink.

"Okay the car is waiting so... lets move" Dale said seeing Mom waled out first like she own anything at her hands.

I turn to Scott as his hands reach my waist and pulled me in while he kiss my face. I breathe in as I close my eyes at the attention feeling.

"Don't leave my side at all tonight" I said in a whisper to Scott. Scott grab my face as I look into those eyes, I love those eyes of his.

"I wan't planning on it" Scott said. He kiss my forhead before we left the house.

His hand never let go only for opening the car door for me and as we get in we stayed close to each other the whole ride. We are going to make it shown that we belong together. 

It's me and him.