In Silence

Chapter Six: Heavy baggages

It's really hard to continue without the person you look up to. It's really heartbreaking to wake up everyday knowing that your favorite person wasn't around anymore.

It's the day. It's the time wherein we will let go of her.

I'm not yet ready, but we have to move forward.

Every people gave their white flowers in her grave. I cried a lot. It was so painful. This day is kinda different since I tried so hard not to cry, but all my emotions suddenly out.

As I put the white flower on her grave, I also bid my farewell and my message.

It's so painful, La. But I'll try to be strong for lolo and tita. Ako na po ang bahala!

I don't know how we surpassed that day. We just had a quick lunch after ng libing. Then, balik na ulit sa dati. May kani-kaniya na ulit kaming buhay. I went to the living room, lolo is sitting in the swing chair, which is the favorite area of my lola.

Since it can carry two people, I sat beside lolo and I hugged him. I didn't talked. We stay like that for a while. I immediately went to my room after that. I went to my bed and there, I cried again.

La, I'm so weak. Please help me to be strong.

I wiped my tears when I heard a knock.

"Pasok..." masiglang sabi ko para hindi mahalata na galing ako sa pag-iyak.

Pumasok si daddy, mommy, ate at kuya. Bitbit nila ang mga maleta nila. Ohh, aalis na nga pala sila ulit. Babalik na sila ulit.

Binitawan muna nila ang mga maleta nila. Umupo silang apat sa kama ko para yakapin ako. Nang kumalas na sila sa pagkakayakap sa akin, nagsalita naman ako. "You don't have to worry. I'm strong. I was raised by strong people, remember?" Pinilit kong ngumiti.

"Yes you're strong and we also know that you're weak on times like this but here you are, giving your best to survive each day. That'swhy we're so proud of you." Hinawakan ni mommy ang mga kamay ko.

"Thank you mommy." mahinang bulong ko.

"As much as we want to stay, alam mo naman na rush iyong pag-uwi namin kaya hindi kami pwedeng magtagal." saad naman ni daddy. "But I hope you can still feel our love for you."

"I know po. I hope alam ni'yo rin na mahal ko kayo." I genuinely smiled to them.

"Kagaya nga ng sabi namin sa'yo, we're family. We're here for you kahit malayo kami." Tinapik ni ate ang balikat ko.

"We can also be your best friends. Just call us anytime, even if we're busy, we can always listen on your rants. Life isn't easy, we're talking here because of experience. We just hope that in your chaos and struggles, you'd call to us right away. We will never hesitate to be there for you even during busy times." Napaiyak naman ako sa sinabi ni kuya. Hindi ko na napigilan. Napaiyak na ako.

"K-kuya, I really need those words right now. T-thank you!" I sincerely said.

Niyakap nila ako ulit at nag-groufie muna kami bago sila bumaba. Gusto kong sumama sa paghatid sa airport pero sinabihan daw sila ni tita na hayaan na muna akong makapagpahinga.

Since tita care for me so much, sinunod ko ang bilin niya. After nilang umalis, natulog na ako. Since sleep can make me feel at peace, I just hope maging matagal ang tulog ko. I really need it. I really need lots of time to rest.

I suddenly woke up when I felt like someone's caressing my hair. It was Theo. I didn't get shocked when I saw him in my room since he's always welcome here.

"Why are you here?" I asked, feeling weak.

"You didn't eat your dinner so I bring your breakfast." Napatingin ako sa pagkain na nasa side table. There's sunny side up, bacon, fried rice, and fried banana. "Tita said na you're in a deep sleep kaya hindi ka na niya ginising. Baka need mo raw ng mahabang tulog since puyat tayo these past few days."