OFFSIDE

81

❝ 'Cause it's all over, it's not meant to be. ❞
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Pedri's POV
Reluctantly, I step off the team bus at the training complex. It's ten past two in the morning, and we've just returned from Pamplona.

The only good thing about today is that we won 2-1. But that victory definitely wasn't thanks to me. I played like a wet blanket.

No, that's not fair— a wet blanket would have played better than I did.

It's no surprise, then, that I was subbed off before halftime. Let me repeat: before halftime. You know you've played horribly when that happens, because it's not something that usually happens unless there's an injury.

The only goal we conceded was entirely my fault. I didn't score it myself— I couldn't even manage to hit the ball properly— but I was the one who lost possession, leading to their goal.

Long story short: it was a disaster.

And although I don't want to make excuses, I know exactly why it happened. My head is in a completely different place than the rest of my body.

My head is somewhere between Elenaturn and Emmars, Saturn and Mars, but with those two girls. Okay, you get it.

That's also why I couldn't handle sitting next to Gavi on the plane. Every time I hear him talk about Elena, the guilt just eats at me.

Not so much because of the affair we had. Sure, I feel guilty about that, but it's over. Done. No, it's the guilt of still fantasizing about his girlfriend.

Which only makes me feel even guiltier towards Emma, who's trying so hard to fix things between us. But honestly, I think it's hopeless as long as Elena is alive.

Not that I have any plans to get rid of her, of course not. I love her. Wow, wait. I didn't say that. I just, I really like her.

"See you tomorrow?" Gavi asks, waiting for me. He got off the bus much earlier than I did.

"Uh, yeah, of course," I smile. "I'll see you at training." I glance past him and see Elena leaning against Gavi's car. She looks at me and gives a small smile.

Since what happened in the hallway at the restaurant, we haven't seen each other.

"See you tomorrow," Gavi says as he heads towards his girlfriend.

I walk to my car and quickly get in. I drive off the parking lot at speed, heading home.

When I get home, I notice the lights in my living room are still on. Is Fernando still awake?

I park the car in the driveway and take my trolley out of the trunk. Then I unlock the front door and step inside, leaving the trolley in the hallway as I head to the living room.

To my surprise, it's not Fernando sitting on the couch— it's Emma.

"Hey, what are you doing here so late?" I say, a bit startled.

"Hey Pedri, I think we need to talk." Her expression is serious, and she stays seated. There's a slight smile on her face, but beyond that, she seems distant.

I nod and sit down on the couch.

Emma's words hang in the air as she looks at me, her expression serious but still soft. I can tell she's nervous, maybe even a little hurt, and it makes me feel like a total jerk. I take a deep breath, trying to figure out how to start this conversation that I've been avoiding for too long.

"So..." she begins, her voice steady but quiet. "I've been thinking a lot about that night." I know she is talking about the night of 5 days ago.

"Yeah?" I respond, even though I know exactly what she's talking about. The moment she said 'I love you' and I couldn't bring myself to say it back. I've been replaying it in my head over and over since it happened.

"Pedri," she continues, leaning forward a bit, "you didn't say it back. And I get it, I really do. We've been through a lot, and maybe we're just... not in the same place anymore."

I nod slowly, not sure where to start. "Emma, I'm sorry. I wanted to, I really did, but... I couldn't. And it's not fair to you. You deserve someone who can say those words without hesitation."

She looks down at her hands, twisting them in her lap. "I know you're still thinking about Elena. I can see it, Pedri. And I guess I just need to hear it from you... Is that what's going on? Is she still in your head?"

I sigh, rubbing my face with my hands as I try to find the right words. "Yeah... yeah, she is. I wish I could say she wasn't, but that would be a lie. I've really tried to focus on us, to get back to what we had before, but... it's just not happening."

Emma looks up at me, her eyes searching mine. "And what about Elena? Is it... is it more than just thoughts?"

"No," I answer quickly, shaking my head. "Nothing's happened, not since we ended things. But she's still there, in my head, and I can't seem to shake it. And that's not fair to you, Emma. You've been nothing but amazing, and you deserve more than this... confusion."

She gives a small, sad smile. "I appreciate you being honest. I really do. I just... I guess I hoped that maybe we could get back to where we were, you know? But I can't keep pretending everything's okay when I know it's not."

"I don't want to hurt you," I say, feeling the weight of my own words. "The last thing I want is to keep stringing you along when my heart isn't fully in it. It's not fair to either of us."

Emma nods, taking a deep breath. "So... what do we do? Where does this leave us?"

I reach out and take her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. "I think we should stop trying to force something that isn't there anymore. We can still be friends, Emma. I care about you too much to lose you completely. But trying to make this work when my mind is somewhere else... it's not fair to you."

She squeezes my hand back, tears shining in her eyes but not falling. "I want us to stay friends, too. You've been such an important part of my life, Pedri. I don't want to lose that. But I can't keep pretending that we're something we're not."

"I understand," I whisper, feeling a lump in my throat. "I wish things were different, but I think this is the right thing to do."

Emma nods, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. "I'll be okay. We'll both be okay. And maybe... maybe someday, things will be clearer for both of us."

"Yeah," I agree, even though the thought of a future without her as more than a friend feels strange. "Maybe."

We sit in silence for a moment, letting the reality of our decision sink in. It's painful, but there's also a strange sense of relief, like a weight has been lifted off both our shoulders.

"Friends?" I finally ask, offering her a small smile.

"Friends," she echoes, smiling back even as her eyes glisten. "Always."

We stand up together, and I pull her into a tight hug. It feels final, but also like a new beginning—one where we can both figure out what we really want without hurting each other anymore.

"The only thing I want to tell you is that Elena has a boyfriend. He's your friend and your teammate. Keep that in your mind," she mumbles.

"Yeah. I know. Iknow."

When we finally pull apart, there's a sense of mutual understanding between us. It's not the ending either of us wanted, but it's the one that makes the most sense. We walk to the door together, and as she leaves, I know that while this chapter of our relationship is closing, a new one is beginning—for both of us.