Three Phantoms of You [bxb]

People Watching

Nolan:

Holidays are already coming up, and I don't really know how I'm going to spend them. There's nothing much on my plate, which is ironic since it's Christmas, but then again, I'm stuck here, so I better get used to it.

Kiev left the other day, as far as I know. He didn't really say goodbye to me or even give me an ounce of his last breath before parting, which kind of ruined my days already, but yay, I'm free of him. Am I right?

What makes it worse is that the cold here is fucking freezing, and I can't even let my body heat up from being caressed by chilly winds. It's totally an entire new feeling; hell, there were no such thing as seasons in my town. Let alone did I imagine spending the rest of the year frigid from it.

I'll just wait here and hope for the best. And hey, I wasn't kidding about having more customers in the winter; we're crowded.

I continue to distract myself as my hand resists the temptation of getting my phone. Maybe a peek will cure all longings.

So I get it from the counter and try to type a simple hello to Kiev. It wouldn't hurt. Yet-

"What?" I say to myself, which confuses the customer in front of me as well.

"Nothing," I say.

My message won't send, and neither will the rest of my follow-ups. I'm sure that I have data, but what gives? I don't really know if it's eligible to text others in a different city, but it turns out it's not.

I just sighed and continued what I'm doing—brewing. It'll be like this for the rest of the season. How great.

It was in no time that 6:30 p.m. arrived.

That's the best thing about having a busy day; you don't realize how time crests into speed when you're preoccupied. And I don't want anything else but to wish for it to be like this all the time.

I walked again from the cafe to my apartment and decided to take a different path. A pathway I have always loved since then until now. It was what I deemed "alley of love." I know it sounds corny, but that's what I get whenever I roam here. Everything is designed with red lights, a garden of roses, and benches to sit on for two, which symbolizes love for me.

This is what my father used to say about my mom's favorite spot, and I couldn't agree more with her.

It's splendid, and I always wished to bring someone here with me, yet I couldn't. So I just bring myself and watch others.

Every bench is a couple's site for affection, but right now, there aren't that many lovers yet. It's still early, and most of them go out at night, so it's just the right time for me to reflect and muse.

I walk to a nearby bench and sit myself cozy as I lay eyes around me.

There are two girls taking pictures a few meters in front of me. They seem to enjoy each moment they have as shutters click into remembrance. It's more than love they express, but rather memory, and I'm like a camera to witness their admiration for each other.

Another couple gets my attention from afar as they walk slowly from the entrance to sit on a bench. A love that I loved watching before because it's already been promised for a long time. An elderly man and woman are talking to each other, even if their ears blur some of their left affirmations. It's fascinating how one can feel love that long and hold onto it. Which is why I adore its concept so much.

And nothing screams promise more than actual promise itself, as my gaze traps a man on his knees, seemingly proposing to his girlfriend.

They both look jailed with love, imprisoning both their hearts, even as no other person bats an eye. It looks like a scene that normally happens here because not many people are fazed by this happening.

It's sweet, but it's definitely a sign for me to go now, or else I'll spend my time watching again rather than reminiscing.

So I stand from my seat and continue walking, trying hard not to take long observing.

Once I got to my apartment, sleep didn't waste time and easily knocked me out as I closed my eyes, once again falling into surmount.

————————

I can feel my phantom escape the depths of my body as the night crawls into its peek. As soon as unconsciousness hits my warm body, another coldness leaves and walks on its own.

"What the fuck?" I exclaim as my eyes fall into the body laying in front of mine.

It's me.

My head instantly goes into panic mode but is unable to make that deep of a thought as feelings leave in my shadows. No nervousness or shock, just incongruence.

This is not what dreams are, as I recall or experienced, which pushes me into overdrive. Why am I able to see myself yet feel parted from it?

I immediately tried to check my body but couldn't touch it to feel my temperature. It's useless, and I might be gone; however, the continuous heavy breathing I sense from it is an indication that I'm still alive.

Good. I say, calming myself.

I didn't think I'd be able to do it again, yet my body holds the same sensation as what was drawn before.

I'm spectating.

I guess I am.

Even as I leave my room and walk down the corridors of emptiness, there's nothing to be felt or any sign of indifference. Not until I roamed down the streets did I feel something. There was love.

I am not dreaming. I really am spectating right now. And even though I really miss it, I don't know what to do. Hell, just as I sense a couple walk past me, holding each other, I still have no idea where to lead myself.

I just continue to walk and walk, hoping my body will wake up to pull me away from this feeling. But it's too dark and too early to get up.

Not until a few minutes later did I realize where my feet were taking me. Here again. The streets where I was just a few hours ago. Yet, right now, I'm here as a different phantom than I was before.

The couples haven't left, all three of them, and I watch as the same things rewind in front of my eyes.

Two girls are taking pictures, two elders are walking to a bench, and a man is proposing to his partner. Each feeling fills me with love, and my phantom reeks of kinship in this sight, which confuses me even more since what was already seen before can't really be rewind in the spectating world. Love only persists in the moment, yet I feel like something is different.

So I continue to walk ahead, trying to find something that'll alter my perception of this illusion. Something different.

My gaze instantly draws me to the bench where I sat earlier. However, I'm not the one sitting in it right now.

Kiev?

I voice out a call even though he can't hear me.

He's all my eyes can see.

He's also sitting next to another guy as they talk to each other.

I couldn't really recognize who it is since his back is facing me from where I'm standing, but somehow I can sense fondness between the two of them. Fondness and hatred as the guy pushes forward, taking Kiev's lips.

This isn't really something I'm used to seeing, even when spectating, because hell knows how Kiev hates kisses. But as I walk closer, an ounce of familiarity hits me, which causes me to lose all numbness, replacing it with horror.

It's me who is kissing him, and his eyes are directly pointed at me as if he knows I'm here. Even as I move away, his gaze follows. And he fucking smiles. What in the horror mov—?

I was cut short as my phantom rips into desertion and is pulled away from its scene. I close my eyes, hoping I was mistaking, yet as I open them, I'm back to where I began.

It's 6 a.m.

I'm awake.