Three Phantoms of You [bxb]

For a Visit

Kiev:

Mellow music reigns in the whole room as I practice playing my piano. It keeps me calm in a sense of serenity with the way each chord falls into strains, and I drown myself into nothing but a lullaby.

I have been playing for an hour now, holding my peace and distracting myself. I do this whenever I feel depressed, sad, or just straight up bored, and right now, I am all three.

My fingers land in a C-sharp minor chord, starting another one of my favorites. Moonlight Sonata. With my hand freely capturing all emotions given by each chord being touched, my heart easily fell into bliss, but my psyche couldn't.

Nothing's helping my mind out of confusion, even as I try hard not to think of thoughts other than emptiness. It's honestly better to do that than to think of someone else; however, not all the time will I be given what I want as my phone rings once again.

What is it now?

Nolan: KIEV

What?

Nolan's texting me from his past number rather than the one we have a conversation on, which is odd. Although I do remember him using this before while we were still in high school. I mean, it literally says on the name.

Yet, my curiosity baffles me as I try to type a response.

Kiev: You changed your number?

It's funny how his dial is still somewhat in my contacts because of how I didn't try blocking him before. I can even scroll through our past messages, with the words being either bitter or sweet, and it pains me to read them.

January 3, 2023
Nolan: sorry

See? Funny?

Nolan: not really
Nolan: I still have you in my contacts

My mind trails on his message, trying to think of what he meant. He could've used another number before to mess with me, or he didn't, but it would not make sense if he did. I mean, what for?

I'm likely taking too long to respond because before I even type up a text, he sends another follow-up.

Nolan: let's hang out?

Yeah, definitely not now. It's already late. About 9:00 p.m. and I don't necessarily have it in me to go out in the middle of the night just to hang out in the cold, so I refused.

Kiev: no?

Nolan: too late

Huh? What is that supposed to mean?

Nolan: I'm downstairs already
Nolan: go check

Fucking bitch.

My so-called peace had just been ruined by his single text, and my mind instantly went into panic mode, trying to think of what to do. Do I really want to meet him right now? Yes.

But after our kiss? No.

It's been three days since I last saw him, and I'm still replaying the scene over and over in my head, hoping it was just a dream.

I wasn't supposed to give in. This interaction was supposed to just be for kinship, not to build any sort of yearning, but I'm too weak when it comes to him. And my lips are too impatient to not feel his.

Rapidly, I close my phone, ignoring all texts sent by him afterwards, and walk to my bed.

Maybe if I pretend to sleep and make that excuse by tomorrow, he'll buy it? I don't really know.

"Kiev!" My mom shouts from downstairs.

I exhaled, hoping she only called me for dinner. Nothing else. Nothing more. Not for Nolan. Nothing special. Definitely. Yes.

"Later!" I shout back.

I'm sure my mom has already heard since I can hear her chatter from here, and seemingly she's talking to someone.

"We're about to eat. Head down now!"

Fine. It's not really worth fighting with her when it comes to schedules since she hates it whenever I don't agree with her eating time. As she said, dinner with family is the most important thing, not something to be stubborn about.

My body voluntarily walks its way to the door, opening it, and I try my best to keep a steady face as I head down the stairs.

And well, he's there.

I didn't bother paying attention to him, though, and kept my gaze away from where his figure was sitting. As if he's not even there.

It's working since he didn't bother calling for me or even going near me; instead, he's just there on the sofa playing dolls with my younger sister.

They look cute, even though I only see them on my periphery.

My mom stands in front of me, putting our food on the table. Once our eyes met, she signaled for me to greet Nolan, but I shook my head.

The bad thing is my mom is as stubborn as me, which is why I try not to cringe when she try to be blatant. "Kiev, aren't you going to greet Nolan? He's right there," she contends.

Great. Now, I'm forced to interact. "Hey," I say, shooting an eyebrow at Nolan.

He smiles at me, putting me into wreckage again, and my gaze somehow can't leave his. The next thing I know is that he's sitting at the table next to me, and we're already distributing food.

"So, Nolan, how are you?" my mom asks from across us.

Nolan takes a spoonful of lasagna and puts it on his plate, serving me as well. "I'm doing fine, Mrs. Weisser. You know, school and all that, but it's going okay."

My mom just nods while taking a bite of her food, and we continue on our routine of eating.

There was a minute of silence before she talked again. "Good thing you visited. It's been a while since we last saw you," she starts.

It definitely has been since she wasn't necessarily informed about the breakup. I just kept telling her whenever she asked that Nolan was too busy to come over.

It mostly worked since she stopped wondering by the time college rolled over. "I really thought you and Kiev broke up."

Really? I can sense how uncomfortable Nolan felt hearing those words from beside me since he's not really updated about them not knowing about it. "Us? We were just busy. That's all," he retorts.

I didn't even have time to counter his response, as I felt his hand under the table, pinching my thighs. Ouch.

My body freezes from the sensation of how intimate it is as I try my best to keep my composure from being ruined under his skin. "Yeah," I quickly say, hoping for the conversation to end.

Nolan is not budging, though, and he continues to pinch me, which sends me into overdrive. I'm not really into feeling pain at the moment, so I take his hand with mine and hold it instead, making him occupied rather than pinch me.

Our fingers are intertwined from under, and I watch as a grin grazes among his lips. Pure devil. He seems to look happier, as if enjoying what he's doing.

There's definitely nothing weird going on, and I'm hoping that my family won't notice a thing.

I finish my meal with my hand entrapped in his as I wait for each second to pass by. Nolan and Mom kept talking. Meanwhile, my sister has already left to play, and my brother is on his phone.

"I'll wash the dishes. You two just go hang out," my mom says as we finish eating.

I took the time to let go of Nolan's hand because I couldn't be bothered being with him at the moment. Showing up at our house and then teasing me? Yeah, I'm definitely not pleased, but I try to hide it as I stand from my seat and head out of the house.

I needed fresh air, hoping he wouldn't follow me. So, I sit on the side porch, taking in the cold with my bare body, while I collapse into a stupor of regret.