Sorry but i can't... Kim Seungmin FF

Chapter 25-a relief worthy of a romance film

Shin-Su’s Pov

After 20 minutes of intense crying, the past time I was with Seungmin flow through my mind

-Ellipse-

Me: Please stay alive, please for god sake
My heart was going crazy and I couldn't keep my calm, I was racing like never.

My license could have been taken away seeing the speed I was going.

I was scared and sad, I could just thought about it

"What if him dying was our really last memory?"

"He is the only person i know, would I be able to survive this life?"

All these thoughts were running through my mind and I couldn’t do anything about it, I can just wait, sat on this cold metallic chair.
I just need the doctor to come see me and tell me that he is still alive and that everything will be alright from now on… right?

Seconds were just like hours, I felt like time stopped and wouldn’t continue. It was definitely one of the worst moment of my whole life.

As I believed, Seungmin got shot multiple times, I saw around vital places. Even though it might not be possible, I hope that he will survive…

Suddenly I feel a pat on my shoulder, it’s the doctor, I immediately stand up and here we are, the moment that I really hoped for.

Me: Is Seungmin okay?

Doctor: Choi Seungmin is alright but…

Me: But? What do you mean but?

Doctor: First of all, he lost a lot of blood so he will take a lot of time to be bale to even walk again and on the second time, he could’ve lost his memory due to the shock.

Me: Is this really happening?

Doctor: I’m sorry, we did everything we could.

Me: Why are you talking about him as if he was dead… Can I go see him?

Doctor: Of course, it’s the room 210

He quietly leaves and I make my way to his room and I open the door. He is laying down and seeing him like this makes my heart and body weak so I seat on the chair beside the hospital bed.

Tears coming… I cry… a lot… and loud enough for me to realize a second time the situation

Me: If you don’t remember me, I’ll make you remember. I don’t care, you’re the only person I have and I can’t lose you.

He is in front of me but I don’t feel the same feeling of joy and anxiety as usual. I am scared, angry and sad.
Night arrives and I fall asleep, feeling exhausted.

**-Ellipse-**

Morning comes and the lights wakes me up well more like I believed it was.

But every morning was just some false hop but one morning, as I felt some kind of a stare on me.

After some moment I decide to open my eyes and I look at who is staring at me and it’s him…

Me: Is this a dream? Are you real? Am I truly awake?

Seungmin: Of course, Kang Shin-Su

Me: You piece of shit, how could you do this to me? I thought that you were going to die…

I cry and still look at him in the eyes

Seungmin: Don’t cry princess, no need, look, I am here and I am alive.
Me: You were almost dead and this is the only thing you find to say?
Seungmin: I’m sorry… I really thought that I would die today.
Me: Today? It’s been one week since you are here…
Seungmin: ONE WEEK?!

I nod and he sighs

Me: It is

Seungmin: Are you sure?
Me: Yes I am, it’s been one week.

I show him the date of today on my phone.

Seungmin: Damn, this is why I feel weird, I haven’t slept like that in years.
Me: Well no one did slept like this and happily that you woke up after a week and not after a month.
Seungmin: I’m too strong for that
Me: Says the one who got shot multiple times and thought that he would die.

He stick out his tongue at me and I look at him with an amused look.

Me: No but seriously, I’m really happy that you woke up and that you are now safe.
Seungmin: You’re welcome
Me: Even though Wonwoo died, I know he betrayed you and all that, I wasn’t expecting it to be so fast.
Seungmin: Well, he was going to kill me anyway
Me: What do you mean?
Seungmin: It’s a bit complicated… you really wanna know?
Me: Everything that concerns you matter to me.

Seungmin: Well, for about 1 year, Wonwoo had a girlfriend but that girl would always cling to me. One day when I was like a bit tipsy, she went in my room and we did what you think we did, later on, Wonwoo learnt that during this night she cheated on him with a guy but he never ended up knowing. He killed that girl after torturing her for hours, I was there and before dying she mouthed “I regret nothing, I love you” to me. I replied with “I don’t” and he shot her in the head, her body and the chair fell on the floor.

Me: That’s intense… I guess?

Seungmin: I felt nothing for that girl, well she was pretty and I was a bit tipsy, at that moment, I didn’t had any intimate relationships in 2 years. It was a mistake…

Me: Well I can understand and honestly, we didn’t even knew each other at that moment.
Seungmin: Yeah but, I also have a question
Me: Go ahead
Seungmin: When we got kidnapped, you were about to tell me a story but you got cut off, what was it?
Me: Which one?
Seungmin: You were asking me if any girl left you any impression and I told you the rainy day and that girl crying.
Me: OH! THIS?!
Seungmin: Yeah, what was it
Me: Well, that person was… me…
Seungmin: Are you kidding me?
Me: Absolutely not
Seungmin: That means that, first of all we met before and that the other girl that left an impression on you was actually also you.
Me: I call that Destiny
Seungmin: I call that Fate (hello Engenes, I’m also one yay!)
Me: Let’s just say that our fate destined us together.
Seungmin: I love that sentence actually.
Me: Me too
Seungmin: But… what happened to you that day for having you on the ground on your knees and crying your eye balls out? (chapter 7)

Me: That night, I ran away from my parent’s house because you know, they didn’t wanted to listen to me about my future, they were just going to get me become a doctor or lawyer, they had a fight and I overheard them. At that moment, I was just arriving home from high school and I ended up bursting into anger, I screamed at them and leave the house with everything I could get. At that moment, I was getting bullied and I lost my parents and a house, someone bumped into me and I didn’t had any force to get up so I stayed on the floor, complaining and crying under the rain since it’s all I could’ve done at the moment.

Seungmin: That’s tough
Me: And you? Why were you there?
Seungmin: Meeting with an another mafia, money stuff, it went well, no one got killed and yeah.
Me: I see but now, we don’t have anything to worry about.
Seungmin: Well, I’ll have to become the leader of the Jeon Mafia, should I turn it into Kim?
Me: Sounds cool to me.
Seungmin: Would you like to be my queen?
Me: To be by your side?
Seungmin: Yeah, you’ll need some training but… are you willing to take the risk?
Me: Well, yeah, I have nothing to lose beside you.

He chuckles and smirk at me before giving me a kiss on the back of my hand in a gentlemen way.

I giggle, smile at him and here I am accepting the craziest thing in my whole life. In case I didn’t lost my whole mind, I made sure to have lost it all but no regret, I love him and I have nothing else to lose.

So, here I am before being the queen of the biggest mafia in the whole south Korea, I surely went through different stages of situations and feeling but it was “all” worth it.