PeiSui You Deserve To Be Loved

Despair

Shi Qingxuan

Inside dream

Everything was dark and cold as I held my brother in my arms. The two of us had been sent on a mission together and as a result of that he ended up badly beaten because he protected me. Blood was all over his body with a black eye starting to form along with a broken arm and leg. "Qingxuan". He called out weakly.

"I'm here brother, I'm right here with you". I said teary-eyed. He lifted his hand and cupped my cheek. "['m so proud of you and everything you've done. I couldn't have wished for a better little brother or sister. You are the best thing in my life, the most precious thing and I'm so glad you let me be a part of that".

"Don't. Don't talk like you're going to leave me". I gripped his hand. "Please Wudu, I still need you. I don't wanna go through this world by myself. Your the only family I have left". He smiled. "That's not true, little one. I know you're dating someone, I just don't know who". "I I-". "It's ok that you didn't tell me, you weren't ready. I don't care who they are just as long as they treat you right".

"Please don't go". "I want to stay with you. I want to see the man you become but everything's so cold right now". "Let me get you to a medic then". "There's no time, we both know that". "Wudu"! "I love you so much, so so much". Those were the last words he spoke before his eyes closed and hand went limp.

"Brother?........Brother"!

End of dream

"Qingxuan! Qingxuan"! I could hear He Xuan's voice call out to me but I couldn't see him. All I could see was my brother's lifeless body lying in my arms with his blood on my hands. "Wind blossom it's ok, what you're seeing isn't real my love. Come back to me, I'm right here". I could feel him gently shaking me before my eyes shot open.

I slowly sat up taking in my surrounding's and was relieved to see I was home. "Wind blossom"? He called out softly. "W Where's my brother"? "He's at home, baby". "H He is"? "Yes my love, he's safe and so are you". He took me into his arms and I immediately relaxed into his embrace placing my head against his chest.

"What did you see"? "Wudu and I went on a mission together, everything went just fine but toward the end he pushed me out of the way and took a hit that was meant for me". I teared up once more. He held me closer to him.

"Your brother is safe, you're safe. Later on I'll bring you back so you can go see him but for right now try to relax. I'm right here, I won't let anyone hurt you". "Thank you, my love".

"Qingxuan, where are you. We need to talk". Ling Wen said contacting me.

"About what? Is my brother ok"?

"I'm not sure since no one's seen him but you but I'm going to assume he is".

"What's going on then"?

"When General Pei made his way over to your palace why didn't you allow him to see Wudu"?

"Because at the time my brother didn't want to see anyone including me".

"So if he was agreeing to visitors you would have let him in"?

"Probably not".

She went quiet for a bit

"Why not? You know how close they are"?

"That may be true but my brother's already in enough pain as it is and I don't want General Pei adding on to it. He can see my brother but only when and if Wudu asks for him".

"Why are you acting like this"?

"Acting like what? Like a concerned brother that's worried about his big brother? If you can't figure out why I would be protective over him means you're clearly not paying attention to what's going on between the two of them".

I left the mind link and tried my best to relax with my boyfriend.

Shi Wudu

My body was shaking as I sat alone in my bathroom. I couldn't sleep no matter how hard I tried. Every time I closed my eyes all I could see was that office and what he was doing to me. I hated it. I hated being so powerless and weak. I hate this feeling of helplessness I have now but I can't do anything about it.

If I do he'll hurt Qingxuan. I can't allow that to happen, I can't lose them

Tears filled my eyes as I stared at the blade in my hand and my exposed skin.

It's bad enough they already have a pathetic excuse for a brother

Cut

You need them, they don't need you

Cut

They have someone in their life

Cut

They'll be happier without you

Cut

They won't have to worry as much

Cut

Your the older brother, it's your job to protect them not the other way around

Cut

They deserve more, so much more than you

I had my head down gripping my hair with both hands.

"My office now".

I cried silently as Jun WU spoke to me.

Ming Guang

Word Count: 882