A Love Match

11 - Sophie

I had to begrudgingly admit it – Ashbury had, indeed, worked its magic on me once more. Or maybe it was simply the second half of my pregnancy - I just felt more calm and peaceful, and I welcomed everything that the countryside had to offer with open arms. Every morning, I walked all over the grounds and the forest that was on the estate, I even ate most of my meals outside in the garden, where the servants set up a nice table and chairs for the two of us once my stomach became too big to be able to gracefully get up from a picnic blanket.

I pushed my annoyance with my immature husband to the back of my mind, and simply focused on nurturing the new life inside me that now felt like a reality, since the baby was moving quite vigorously. Nicholas couldn't get enough of feeling the little kicks and movements, and after I gave him a standing permission to do so, he set his hands on my stomach whenever he was around me, rubbing and caressing the baby, even talking to it when we were alone. I pretended that I was only indulging his antics by agreeing to this, but I was secretly deeply moved by the love he so clearly had on his face for this unborn child. It was something I had never witnessed before – maybe other husbands were like this as well, but all of them kept it strictly private. And the baby clearly loved him back, since it would always relax when he started his ministrations.

I couldn't help but think about our child's future. Children in our circles were quickly given to an army of wet nurses, nannies, and governesses to raise, and especially the heirs of a duke were soon shipped off to elite boarding schools and colleges, virtually becoming strangers to their parents by adulthood. Would we still love this baby as we do now if we barely saw it? Would I be doing my child a disservice if I chose to keep it close to me?

There had to be a reason for how everyone we knew was doing things. It was only the lower classes that kept their children close, that shared one bedroom for all of them, that didn't have nannies, and that didn't send away their children to school – and those children grew up to be our servants, if they were lucky. But when I talked it through with Nicholas, I realized that being born wealthy and titled was basically the only way to be wealthy and titled in our society, so it did not mean that we were raising our children in a way that enabled them to succeed in life, which made me feel better about my doubts.

I talked to Nicholas a lot about all my musings, especially in the evenings in the library, when he would rub my back and legs after a long day. He'd noticed my discomfort early on so he immediately found Augusta, the most renowned midwife in his duchy, and paid her handsomely to live with us until I was "brought to bed". She agreed on the condition that she could still go assist births in the village until I was close to lying in, so she was now a member of our household and the daily victim of my husband's incessant questioning about various aspects of the pregnancy and childcare.

She was the one who told him that it would be beneficial for me to receive back rubs and foot massages, and I was certain I'd never seen a man as happy as him, now that he was given "official" permission to touch me some more. And I was not complaining, somehow I enjoyed his touch even more than I used to. In fact, I would often leave the library all flustered after a simple foot rub. Evenings quickly became my favourite part of the day.

My sisters stayed with us for some weeks, and then both of his sisters and his mother arrived to stay for a month after they'd left. Madeline and Charlotte were surprisingly gracious and kind to Elizabeth, and I could see how relieved Nicholas was by that. Elizabeth was a lovely, young, stunningly beautiful woman whose heart and demeanour made it very easy to be around her. Her kindness radiated from her every action, and she quickly became someone I considered a dear friend. Although we'd all agreed to postpone her coming out to a later date, I still liked to teach her a little bit about proper address, etiquette, and Ton rules – it was very amusing to hear her interpretations and views on things that I'd always simply accepted as given and never questioned or challenged.