Frollo's Adopted Daughter

A Guy Like You

Laverne: "Oh, it doesn't look good."

Victor: "It's hopeless. Absolutely hopeless."

Cut to Hugo playing cards with a pigeon

Hugo: "You're telling me! I'm losing to a bird!"

Victor: "Oh, that poor gypsy girl. I'm beginning to fear the worst."

Laverne: "I know, but, now, don't you say anything to upset Quasimodo. He's worried enough already."

Hugo: "Yeah, you're right. We'd better lighten up."

Victor: "Shh, shh, shh! Here he comes!"

Laverne: "Now just stay calm."

Victor: "Not a word."

Hugo: "Easy does it."

Victor: "Stone-faced."

Quasimodo enters.

Quasimodo: "Any sign of her?"

Victor quickly breaks up.

Victor: "Oh, it's a lost cause! She could be anywhere! In the stocks, in the dungeon, on the rack! (Begins to cry) Oh no!"

Laverne: "Nice work, Victor."

Quasimodo: "No, he's right. What are we going to do?"

Hugo: "What are you guys talking about? If I know Esmeralda, she's three steps ahead of Frollo, and well out of harm's way!"

On "Esmeralda", Hugo shows a Queen from his deck of cards. On "three", he shows a 3, and on "Frollo", he shows a joker.

Quasimodo: "Do you really think so?"

Hugo: "Hey, when things cool off, she'll be back. You'll see."

Quasimodo: "What makes you so sure?"

Laverne: "Because she likes you. We always said you were the cute one."

Hugo: "I thought I was the cute one!"

Laverne: "No, you're the fat, stupid one with the big mouth!"

Hugo: "What are you saying, exactly?"

Laverne: "Take it from us, Quasi. You've got nothing to worry about."

Hugo: "Yeah, you're irresistible."

Victor: "Knights in shining armour certainly aren't her type."

Hugo: "And those guys are a dime a dozen. But you? You're one of a kind. Look..."

(A Guy Like You)

PARIS, THE CITY OF LOVERS IS GLOWING THIS EVENING

TRUE, THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S ON FIRE,

BUT STILL, THERE'S L'AMOUR.

SOMEWHERE OUT THERE IN THE NIGHT

HER HEART IS ALSO ALIGHT

AND I KNOW THE GUY SHE JUST MIGHT BE BURNING FOR...

A GUY LIKE YOU, SHE'S NEVER KNOWN, KID

A GUY LIKE YOU A GIRL DOES NOT MEET EVERY DAY!

YOU'VE GOT A LOOK THAT'S ALL YOUR OWN, KID

COULD THERE BE TWO?

Laverne/Victor: LIKE YOU?

Three: NO WAY!

Hugo: THOSE OTHER GUYS THAT SHE COULD DANGLE

ALL LOOK THE SAME FROM EVERY BORING POINT OF VIEW

YOU'RE A SURPRISE FROM EVERY ANGLE

MON DIEU ABOVE, SHE'S GOTTA LOVE A GUY LIKE YOU!

Victor: A GUY LIKE YOU GETS EXTRA CREDIT

BECAUSE, IT'S TRUE, YOU'VE GOT A CERTAIN SOMETHING MORE!

Hugo: YOU'RE ACES, KID

Laverne: YOU SEE THAT FACE, YOU DON'T FORGET IT

Laverne/Victor: WANT SOMETHING NEW?

Hugo: THAT'S YOU

Three: FOR SURE!

Laverne: WE ALL HAVE GAPED AT SOME ADONIS

Victor: BUT THEN WE CRAVE A MEAL MORE NOURISHING TO CHEW

Hugo: AND SINCE YOU'RE SHAPED LIKE A CROISSANT IS

Three: NO QUESTION OF SHE'S GOTTA LOVE A GUY LIKE YOU!

A distinct slowdown in the music finds Laverne sitting on top of a piano.

Laverne: CALL ME A HOPELESS ROMANTIC BUT QUASI, I FEEL IT

Victor: SHE WANTS YOU SO ANY MOMENT SHE'LL WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR

Hugo comes through the door dressed as Esmeralda

All Three: FOR...

Hugo: A GUY SO SWELL

WITH ALL YOU BRING HER

A FOOL COULD TELL

IT'S WHY SHE FELL

FOR YOU KNOW WHO

YOU RING THE BELL

Laverne/Victor: A GUY LIKE YOU

I TELL YOU, QUASI

THERE NEVER WAS

ANOTHER, WAS HE?

FROM KING TO SERF TO

THE BOURGEOISIE

THEY'RE ALL A SECOND STRINGER

Three: YOU'RE THE BELL RINGER!

WHEN SHE WANTS OOH-LA-LA

THEN SHE WANTS YOU-LA-LA

SHE WILL DISCOVER, GUY,

YOU'RE ONE HECK OF A GUY,

WHO WOULDN'T LOVE A GUY LIKE YOU?

Hugo: YOU GOT A LOT, THE REST HAVE NOT

SO SHE'S GOTTA LOVE A GUY LIKE YOU!