The Calling

Kennedy

I've always had this calling to just get up and run away.

Okay, not run away in a sense but start over somewhere new. The want to leave my hometown college and explore more of my life is something I always dreamed about. But there are some things that are holding me back or some people I should say.

Dante, my boyfriend of six months, my family, and my best friend Zoe that I've known my whole life. Even though they are the reason I'm staying, sometimes they are the reason I want to leave.

My family for example, or in other words my mother and father always had my future laid out for me. Becoming another lawyer and law firm owner is something that I was always taught was gonna become my future. "You don't get this big house and get to vacation whenever you want if you have some penniless job, Kennedy." My Fathers's famous words grow a migraine in my head. Even though my parents gave me a good life because of their jobs I can still see the stress lines that grow on both of them everyday after being at the office or the courthouse. I simply don't want that kind of life. I don't want to follow in my parent's footsteps just so I can have nice things.

I mean being a badass rich lawyer might not be the worst thing but I have something else in mind. I've wanted to write since I was young. It's something I have always found exciting. Most people would hate to just sit and type on a computer but for me it's thrill seeking. I get excited to just sit and make up stories in my head. I've written many books in high school but have never done anything with them because I know my parents won't accept it. But of course, I can't stand up for myself and that's why I am living at home in Richmond Virginia, going to my boring hometown college University of Richmond, studying law before I transfer to a top law school. I started freshman year only a few months ago, and every day since I have been staring at the acceptance letter to my dream school in New York to study writing. I got accepted to University of California University with a full ride scholarship into the writing program from my books and other writings I have turned in to the school. The offer still stands until the beginning of the new semester and I have been contemplating talking to my parents about my acceptance but I know they won't hear a word of it. Ever since I found my passion in writing they have shut down the idea immediately.

Then here comes Dante and Zoe, the other people in my life here.

Dante and I met right before senior year when Zoe convinced me to go to my first party. He went to the rival high school in Richmond and was a big partier, so it wasn't surprising when he joined a fraternity. Most of our dates involve being around his friends or other people. At first he was sweet but now it's different. I think it has to do with the fact that I still haven't slept with him. Yes, I'm a freshman in college and still a virgin. It's not that I want to wait for marriage or anything, I don't know. We have always gotten close but right up to it I back out. It doesn't feel right to me yet and it honestly scares me. At first he was nice about it but now he can't hide the annoyance in his eyes when I turn him down.

We started getting into serious fights a couple weeks ago when I caught him texting other girls, but he complained and said that it meant nothing. I don't know what it is but I have a feeling it's something more. I might be stupid for staying with him but I feel like I rushed into this relationship too quickly and I don't know how to back out of it. He's the first guy to show actual interest in me and I feel like if I leave him there might not be anyone else. I've been thinking about how maybe if I just have sex with him our relationship will be better.

I've grown up having to hide the person I want to be with my family and when I try to open up and talk to Dante about my dreams it's like he's not even listening to me. He is also at Richmond studying business so he can take over for his fathers when he retires. They are very well known people around our town since they own a lot of the stores, complexes, businesses, and more. My parents are in love with him but I think it's just because of the money I could get from him if we get married.

And then there's Zoe, my little Zoe bug. We met all the way in second grade when my family first moved here. She was my first friend, when I came to school and didn't know anybody. She was outgoing and had confidence in the world. I still remember the time she stood up for me and punched a guy in the face after he tried to pants me on the playground. For some miracle reason we made it through middle school and high school together side by side. Well, I was always on the side at least. That's where me and Zoe differ from each other. She was the main character, a blonde bombshell all in one.

Zoe has never had a problem getting with any guy she ever wanted, meanwhile I seemed to never be noticed by any until now. She has always been confident in her body and it shows in how she dresses and talks to random people. Maybe it's because I'm jealous of her but sometimes I wish that I could walk around confident in myself and know who I am. In high school she gained a lot of attention and grew to be very popular but for some reason, she never left our friendship. She was always there for me and invited me to everything and I could never see myself without her in my life. She was happy for me at first when I got with Dante but now she is constantly telling me I deserve better. And maybe I do, but I haven't been able to bring myself to accept that. Zoe stayed here and goes to college with me too, in the music department. Yes, somehow this girl that is perfect is also an amazing singer. Zoe got 5 different scholarships to be a part of the music program. Ever since she started posting her voice on social media she has also gained quite the following there.

Well, Remember how I said Zoe convinced me to go to my first party, well, here I am waiting on Zoe to get here before we go to one of Dante's frat parties.