The Calling

Kennedy

I can't believe I asked that.

Did I ruin the moment? What even is this that we are doing? What is he feeling? Did I do something wrong?

I had to get out of there fast, I was so embarrassed.

I changed my clothes into a bigger shirt to sleep in and tried to lay down to forget what all happened. As I was trying to drift off and thinking about some things, a knock was at my door. I figured it wouldn't be anyone other than Weston, "Come in."

Weston slowly opened the door, he changed too. He walked in without a word, just looking at me in bed before he crawled up into it with me.

He laid behind me, my back touching his chest, and he planted a small kiss on the back of my neck. What is happening? My insides feel as if they are melting, the embarrassment melting away itself.

"I've never dated anyone."

His voice interrupted the quiet air. I turned around, our faces close now. "What?" Why was he telling me this?

"When I first got here as a freshman, I was a virgin too." Oh. Again, why is he telling me this? I wondered where this conversation was going before he continued.

"In high school, I never really had any time for girls, and I didn't care about them. I was focused on baseball, and helping my dad out a lot with the farm. When I got here, the older guys found out I was a virgin still and made some jokes here and there. They tried to set me up with girls and I caved in one night and slept with some girl I didn't even know." His eyes stayed on mine when he spoke.

"That's awful that they pressured you and made fun of you," I didn't know what else to say or where this story was getting at. He chuckled a bit before speaking again.

"It's whatever, I didn't have to listen. But when I slept with that girl, I wasn't thinking about the stress of school, or baseball, or what I was going to do after. So I started doing it a lot, a lot of parties would end in me sleeping with girls that I didn't even know the names of. I used it as a distraction. I never took the time to get to know these girls or talk to them afterward. I never thought I would have the time or the want to get to know somebody like that before I met you."

Me? I know my cheeks have to absolutely be red right now.

"What I am trying to get at is that ever since I've met you, I have found myself wanting the extra conversations, the hanging out, the getting to know each other. I like what we have been doing and I do want to take it further if you want to still, but I want to ease up to it. I want to take you out on a real date. If you still want me that is. I want to make your first time something you actually want to remember, and special because you deserve it, Kenny. I am sorry I couldn't say that in the room earlier." His words shocked me. His hair was messy and I couldn't help but lean in and move it out of his eyes, leaving my hand on his cheek.

"What is this exactly what we are doing though? In the beginning, you said it doesn't have to be serious, you just want to-uh, show me things," I laughed at the end of my sentence because of how awkward it sounded.

"I know Ken, I shouldn't have said that, but I didn't know how serious my feelings would actually get in this short time with you. I don't know what this is, but I do know that you make me feel warm inside, you make my pulse raise, and you make me nervous. I do know that I really like you."

"Weston, I like you too. You have shown me what it feels like to really talk to someone. You make me nervous as well, and I can't even hide it around you. I would love to take you up on that date, but don't think that you got to be all fancy, just so you can sleep with me," I laughed and pushed him back a bit. He was on his back now and I was laying my chin on his chest, looking up at him.