The Calling

Kennedy

What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck. Fuck my dream I don't even care anymore, I do not want to live in a house full of five fucking baseball players. How does my life even exist? My best friend sleeps with my boyfriend. I get accepted into my dream school. I could become a published author by the end of freshman year, but to do so I will have to move into a baseball house.

One part of me knows well that I do not want to live with five random men, but the other part of me knows I need to do this. I need to do this to make my dream come true. Fuck the boys I will be living with, I can just avoid them it will be easy. I leave in one week it will all be alright.

Zoey stopped by again but this time I answered the door. She looked different, thinking about it now she was wearing baggy clothes, and her eyes had bags. One thing about Zoe was that nobody would ever catch her in baggy clothes or with eye bags. She was always beautiful and dressed to impress.

When she tried to talk, I cut her off. "No, I am not wanting to hear anything from you right now. I am not ready. I need some space from you and this whole situation. I will be leaving in a week maybe when I come back for break we can talk but not now. You have hurt me really hurt me and maybe that full hasn't set in yet of how hurt I am but I just want to focus on what I deserve and I don't deserve this."

She looked at me with tears welling up in her eyes, "I'm sorry Kenny please just let me explain to you, you are my best friend,"

"No Zoey, I was your best friend. I don't think we will ever make it back to what it was but like I said I am not able to talk to you right now, maybe when I come back home." With that, I gave her one last look before I shut the door.

I felt bad for some reason. What I said was right though, I don't think the part of our friendship ending has settled into me yet. I mean for the first week I was a mess about it but I kept also pushing it away and just trying not to think about it. There is a small part of me I think that is glad this happened. I don't think if it did I would be standing up for myself and following my calling if I didn't. It will probably settle in when I move in since I will definitely be keeping to myself in my room.

It is now one week later. Christmas and New Year's has passed and it is now the day I leave and move into a home full of guys. My parents also aren't too pleased about it but I have to go. If I don't this will just be something else I let push over me and my dream. My mom has been a wreck these past couple of days. I will be leaving her alone with my father of course but I am the last child left in the house and she wasn't ready to let me go. My older brother, Landon, has been "studying" abroad in France, more like partying every night and taking online classes. Ever since he's been gone both of my parents have kept a toll on me but mainly because they don't want me to leave them too. They only get a couple of phone calls a week with Landon since he is busy a lot and my mother puts on a brave face but I know deep down she misses having the both of us here together.

Me and Landon have a good relationship, I guess. We are close but can argue, prank, and fight each other like worst enemies. I miss him even though he is always sending pictures and Face Timing me about what he is doing.

I finished packing everything and loaded up my jeep and the Uhaul man that would be following behind me. I gave my mom and dad a quick hug because if I hugged them longer I knew I would probably end up staying. Over the last couple of weeks, me and my parents relationship grew a lot closer. I had close talks with both of them where they both said how they always wanted me to become a lawyer and stay in our family business especially since Landon was gone now. They didn't want to lose me to in a sense I guess. I showed both of them my works and books that I've written throughout high school. They both gave me many kisses on my cheeks and telling me they will come visit soon.

I've been calling Uncle Dennis a lot lately as well, I am so excited to see him as we have always had such a strong relationship. He has known about me wanting to become a writer for a long time but he also knew how my parents are. My parents were mad at Landon for a long time for leaving and not doing what they wanted and ever since they left they were super hard on me and didn't want to hear any writing bullshit. Uncle Dennis always stood up for me though and was so happy for me when my father called and told him the news.

I drove out of the driveway and headed out on my long drive feeling very nervous. This might be the best semester of college or the worst.