Warrior (Book Three of The Silver Society)

Chapter Sixteen

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

"Beth?" Jade asked. It was five o'clock in the morning and Beth was standing by the bedroom window. Jade gently moved so she would not wake Joey or Bastet and walked toward her.

"Beth, what are you doing?" Jade asked.

"I'm watching the sunrise," Beth replied, not looking away from the window. "Mom always used to watch the sun come up. She said it was the one thing she liked about working overnight at the hospital. She would leave the hospital, where there was all this chaos and pain and sorrow, and then she'd get to watch the sun come up. She said it was inspiring." Tears began streaming down Beth's cheeks, but she didn't seem to notice. "It made her believe that good things could still happen... That life went on somehow."

"Beth-" Jade began.

"I don't want life to go on, Jade. I don't want each new day to come. I just want it all to stop and go away." Beth looked at Jade suddenly. "She said the sunrise guided her to the right path, but she wasn't on the right path, and I keep waiting to be guided the right way, but I don't even know what the right way is anymore. I'm lost, Jade."

Jade gave Beth a hug. "I know," she said gently. "But you'll find your way, Beth."

"I doubt that."

"Trust me, you will."

"I can't feel myself, Jade. I can't feel anything, actually. It's like I'm completely numb."

"That's probably just the shock of what happened."

"It's been a few weeks now... In fact, it's almost been a month."

"That's not very long in the grand scheme of things, Beth."

"Jade, I'm an empath who can't feel. Do you understand how insane that is?"

"Do you feel other people?"

"Not really..."

"You're overwhelmed, Beth, that's all. Everyone burns out once in a while."

"It scares me. I mean, I think I'm scared... I'm not even sure, because I can't feel it strong enough to know one way or the other."

"You'll feel again, Beth. When you're ready, the numbness will fade."

"I don't want to feel. I can't feel this, Jade. It will kill me. Besides, I'm a warrior now. You can't be an empath and a warrior. It doesn't work."

"It can work if you learn to control it."

"It won't work for me. I'd die in battle purely because I took on the wounds of everyone around me. It can't work. I can't be both people."

"Beth, you will find a way to balance all of this."

"No, I won't. I'm not Beth anymore, Jade. I'm Amber, the warrior Goddess. That's why I can't feel anything... That part of me died."

"Well, we're just going to have to resurrect it, then."

"You can't. No one can." Beth sighed. "I'm going downstairs to practice some techniques."

"Techniques?" Jade repeated in confusion.

"They keep coming to me. My instincts are strong. I know moves I've never even seen before. It's freaky, but it's probably a good thing. I'll see you later. Go back to bed."

"I can't, Beth. I'm too awake now."

"Then spar with me."

"I'm no slayer, Beth. I can fight, but I haven't been trained, and I don't really spar. You know I'm better at fighting with spells or a gun than with hand to hand combat."