Chapter 4

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December 4th


Billie and I havent really talked much for the past two days which is fine but its kind of worrying.

 I've tried to distract myself from her but everytime I go on instagram she's posing with another person or worse, with Jesse. Don't get me wrong he seems like a nice guy, but a jealousy problem is evident. 

 My phone buzzed to a messages from Billie. I think we have telepathy.

Billie 8:58pm

Are you busy rn?

I wanted to say yes and blow her off, but I kind of missed her.

Madison 8:59pm

No... why?

She left my message on seen. I didn't think about it much. Maybe she lost the motivation to hangout or something. I slumped deeper into my couch and stared at the tv as my eyes glossed over.

I woke up to my doorbell going off and someone knocking at my door aggressively. I shot up from my couch and peaked around the corner to see if I could get a peak at who it was.

 Although my window has a view out to my driveway, I couldn't see who's car was here or who was at my door. 

Finally I grew some balls and I walked towards the door to see billie standing on my step. A sigh of relief left my lips as I opened the door. "Jesus, I thought I was getting robbed." A small smile was on her face. "Sorry you just didn't answer."

 I opened the door wider so she could come in. "What's up?" I asked. "Well, we haven't hung out in a while, you know."

 I went into my fridge and pulled out a bottle of water for her and I. "yeah it's been a sec." She sat at the island and played with her bottle. "I'm sorry for that." She didn't look up from her water. "No worries." I stood across from her, standing up.

 "Jesse and I talked and he said he felt unwanted." She sighed. "So I just spent a few days with him, you know. We went on a date and shit." I nodded and took a sip from my water. "He also said he wanted to go to this concert with you." 

 I furrowed my eyebrows and laughed as if she were joking. "For real?" I asked. "Yeah, like me, you and him. He said he wanted to get to know you before he judges your character."

 She seemed off today. Like she wasn't her normal energetic self. And when she told me about Jesse wanting to go to a concert, she seemed disappointed or like she didn't want to.

 "Was it a combined decision?" I asked. She sat up and leaned forward on her elbows. "Well I was going to ask if you wanted to go with me at first but he found the tickets and assumed they were for him." She smiled. "And then he said we should invite you because he hasn't had a proper introduction."

"Id love to go." I'd love to go with her. Not Jesse. But i'll be civil and put up with him. "Great cause I already bought your ticket."

         For the next few hours we watched movies and chatted. It might sound insane but for the few days we didn't hangout I felt like I was missing something. She's someone I can tell anything to and she wont judge me or view me any differently. That's why I love talking to her.

 It's currently 2 am and we are laying in my bed. The mood lights are on a dim, orange setting and the window is slightly cracked above my bed giving the room a nice fresh smell and a slight coolness.

 We've both been silent for a few minutes now and I honestly thought she was asleep until she cleared her throat and spoke. "Madison." Her voice was a bit raspy and quiet. "Billie." We both looked up at the ceiling. "I have something to ask you."

"Whats up?" She huffed. "You like girls right?"

"Yeah." She paused for a while and shuffled around under the covers. "Do you like guys too?"

"Yeah im bi." She hummed. I found it a bit weird that she was asking me this. Billie is straight, Why would she need to know if I was gay or not. I mean maybe because she wanted to know me better but she knew I dated girls and guys.

 "How'd you know?" She broke my train of thought. "When I was in highschool, I had this friend and we were like super super close then one day we kissed and I guess I just knew after that."

"Did you guys date?"

"Kinda. I mean we like went on little dates and kissed and stuff but we never made it official. then I moved to la and she stayed in new york." Billie turned to face me. I felt her stare at me. "Why didn't you date?"

"Well her parents were homophobic and mine weren't super thrilled that I liked girls too so we thought if we kept it under wraps then no one would get hurt." I hated thinking about her. 

 "I'm guessing that didn't work out." I turned to face her now. I could hardly make out her features in the dark lighting. "What would make you say that." I said sarcastically. She chuckled quietly. 

 "Why are you asking?" she looked down and played with a loose piece of thread. "I was just curious. Sorry to bring it up." I watched her. She wouldnt look at me. "Its okay billie. You were just asking" She laid flat on her back again and sighed. "I should probably go."

"You can't stay?" She sat up and stretched. "No I have an early morning tomorrow and I can't be late." I leaned on my elbows. "Okay i'll walk you out then." 

I was about to get up but she pushed me down. "You look too comfy. I can walk myself out." She leaned over me and kissed my forehead. She's never done that before.

 I was kind of taken aback by that. "See ya." she pulled her hoodie over her head and walked out of my room. I was kind of left speechless. Not that she's not touchy, because she is but she hasn't done anything like that before. This gives me something to overthink about tonight I guess.  

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