Scarred from the Chamber of Secrets (Harry Potter Fan Fiction Retelling)

Chapter 1: Don't Mention Anything That Has to Do with the M Word

Harry woke with a start and screamed as he tumbled out of his bed. "Shut up, delinquent!" he heard his uncle screech from outside his bedroom. His aunt and uncle had finally realized that a tiny cupboard under the stairs was no longer big enough for him. In reality, they had gotten so irritated from tripping over his legs that he had to constantly stretch into the hallway. "Ow," he mumbled, rubbing his big toe. "I keep forgetting I'm not stuffed in that sardine can." His bedroom door burst open. Dudley ran in, startling Hedwig in her cage.

"You stole my room! You stole my room! You stole my room! Thief!"

"Can you say that again? I didn't quite hear you," Harry said, groggily standing up.

Dudley ran forward and pushed Harry so that he fell back to the floor. "You're such a clumsy klutz!" he yelled, sticking his tongue out at him.

Harry reached forward and grabbed Dudley's tongue.

"Ah!" Dudley cried as he tried to wriggle free from Harry's grasp.

"Look who's laughing now, twerp," Harry yelled, yanking on Dudley's tongue. "Oh, wait. Not you because I have your tongue. Hm... a tongue is the only ingredient I need left for my evil potion..."

Aunt Petunia walked by the room and casually glanced in. She went on walking, but as she got to the top of the stairs, she gave a bloodcurdling shriek. "Dooders!" She sprinted back into Harry's room and pulled Dudley away from Harry's grasp. "Don't you ever touch my baby's tongue again, you evil tongue-snatcher," she yelled, pinching Dudley's fat cheek.

"Don't worry, I won't," Harry said, wiping his wet hand on the carpet.

"I don't want you turning him into another pig," Petunia snarled. "Remember what I told you, Dudley? Never go into this maniac's room."

"But it's my room!" Dudley whined. "It had all my new stuff in there—even if they were all broken. I am proud to be a hoarder!"

"Don't blame me that that boy is too enlarged to fit in a closet," Petunia snapped.

"I'm not the enlarged one here," Harry said, eyeing Dudley.

The door slammed open again, and Vernon wobbled in. He rushed in a little too fast; he couldn't stop himself from barreling into Harry and flattening him on the bed. "Get off me!" Vernon hollered.

"You're on top of me!" Harry gasped, completely invisible beneath his uncle.

Vernon hoisted himself up and ran his hands down his button-down shirt as if trying to get rid of all the Harry germs blossoming on his clothes. "We're having a guest over," he bristled. "It's my boss, Mr. Mason. We're celebrating his birthday."

"You're throwing a birthday party for your boss in your house?" Harry asked, checking to make sure his glasses hadn't snapped in half.

"Yes. I only invited Petunia and Dudley."

"But they live here—"

Vernon bellowed, "You scum! You know what you're supposed to do when Mr. Mason is here, right?"

"I'm supposed to take his coat," Dudley said proudly.

"Not you," Vernon snapped. He looked at Harry with slitted eyes. "Actually..." He turned to Petunia, who hadn't moved, probably thinking Harry's room was contaminated with magic particles. "Should the boy stay cooped up in his room or serve us?"

"He should bake for us. That's what he should do." Petunia threw a ladle at Harry, who just caught it before it could fly out the open window. "I want you to bake the jelly cakes. I want the cranberry and strawberry icing baked prior to when he gets here."