A Dove's Tale

Chapter 125

Julius made me wait in the hallway with Mark while he checked the library. He'd done that before he let Theresa and me enter the kitchen, too. I waited impatiently, wanting to bury my nose in a book and forget everything. If I could do that, just for an hour, maybe it would be easier for me to breathe.

It seemed like an eternity before Julius opened the door and beckoned me inside. I took a step past him and stopped, studying the dark bags under his eyes.

"When are you going on break?" I asked him.

"When this is over."

When this was over. It could be days until this was over. Nobody could stay awake and remain functional for that long. I should know.

"We don't know when that will be," I said firmly. "Somebody needs to take a break tonight."

He frowned, but the corners of his lips twitched as he tried not to smile. "I'll take that into consideration."

The door closed behind him, and I let out a sigh, looking around at the shelves lining the walls, the sections of sofas and coffee tables, the rows of freestanding shelves. Bright sunlight, warm and inviting, filtered through the many windows. The room was empty. No people, no risk of harm.

Nobody to see me break down.

Except I didn't want to break down. I'd done enough of that lately. I took a deep breath and went into the back room for my book, sitting on the end table next to Chevalier's. There was still only one chair in the room, but we did little reading there lately. The heat of summer made his private library uncomfortably stuffy, so we usually read in the main library or in the gardens.

Which meant my favorite spot, the alcove, was out, too.

I picked a sofa facing the windows and curled up on one end to read, and that was when I realized I was still wearing my apron, and I'd left my sleeves rolled up, too. I untied the apron, crumpled it into a ball, and tossed it on the floor, too irritated with myself to take it to my guards or back to the kitchen. My carelessness meant Clavis, Leon, Yves, and Licht had all seen my scars. I hated that. I yanked my sleeves down to my wrists and picked up the book. The words dancing across the pages taunted me. I couldn't focus on them, and they knew it.

The library door opened again. I heard the slight creak, but I didn't turn around to see who it was. The light footsteps told me it was probably Theresa.

"I know you're not hungry," she said, setting a tea tray on the coffee table in front of me. "But I brought you some food, anyway."

Échaudés, darioles, beignets, slices of strawberry tart, honey cake, and meatloaf - she'd brought a little of everything. I set my book down and picked up a dariole.

"Thanks."

She poured us two cups of tea, adding a splash of cream and a little sugar to mine, pouring a generous helping of cream and dumping a massive spoonful of sugar in hers.

"One meatloaf is already gone," she said, handing me my tea and sitting beside me with hers.

"Leon really likes meatloaf," I said, smiling reluctantly.

"That was quite a reaction," Theresa said, smiling, too. "I wonder what Chevalier would have said if he saw that."

She was doing it again. Distracting me from my uncertainty and fear, making me smile, coaxing a laugh out of me - and she was good at it, too. I ended up eating a slice of meatloaf and at least trying each of the desserts before I dismissed her, telling her she could have the rest of the night off, that I just wanted to read a while longer before I went back to Chevalier's room. She accepted that answer and left with the dirty dishes and my apron. I stared at the bright blue sky outside the windows, wondering if Chevalier was still in his room. He would have had to take a bath after getting that bloody.