Twists and Turns

Chapter 18

I'm just been sitting in my room thinking about life. Life hurts though. I don't want life anymore. It's been a month since Carter cheated. I haven't spoken to him once, and its killing me. Literally. 

I've started cutting to try make all the pain of being hurt, by the one I loved, go away. I don't cut deep enough to kill myself, just enough to make everything okay for a little while. Nobody knows that I'm doing it and I intend to keep it that way. I don't need to worry everyone, or anyone.

I spend almost all my time with Kayla and Logan these days. Although i feel like a third wheel with them, but they say its okay for me to tag along. Aiden hasn't freaked out, or even gotten mad since me and Carter split up. 

Since me and Carter split up. 

I still can't say or think that without tears in my eyes. Yay I get to sit here in my room crying again. Oh joy. Can't you just feel the sarcasm?

I heard footsteps coming as I sit here crying silently again. 

"Are you okay Tegon? You haven't even come downstairs yet today...." Aiden asked in a really quiet voice. He had worry in his eyes. 

"Yah I'm fine." I said wiping the tears that were going down my cheek now. I attempted to fake a smile but failing terribly.

"I'm worried about you. You don't even eat a lot anymore!" Aiden stated, looking even more pained then before. 

I just looked down. I didn't know what to say because he was right. I didn't eat a whole lot anymore. I really only drank water.

"Tegon. Please just start being your self again?" Aiden begged, kneeling down in front of me to see eye-to-eye with me.

"Have you ever giving some one the total power to be able to destroy you? Trusting them not to?" I question in a whisper.

"Well not completely." was Aidens reply.

"Exactly. You don't know what its like Aiden. I trusted him with everything that was me. But he wrecked that, I am now missing a piece to myself that I will never get back." I whimpered, unable to talk normally.

"Your right I don't know what it's like. But i do know I need the old Tegon back." Aiden whispered pulling me into his lap, hugging me tightly.

"okay Aiden, I will try. But there's something I need to tell you. Actually show you.." I said my voice faltering at the end of my sentence.

I slowly reached my hand down to my wrist and removed the piles of bracelets that were there to reveal the long pink scars. Aidens eyes got wide, his mouth hanging open. Obviously he couldn't believe I actually did it.

He grabbed my hands and held them tightly in his. He looked into my eyes deeply. Tears were forming in his dark eyes.

"Tegon. Promise me. You will Never. Ever. Cut again. please!" He pleaded on the verge of breaking down crying.

"I promise you. I will never cut again." I promise. wrapping my brother in a tight hug again.

Once we released from the hug I walked downstairs still in my pajamas even though it was noon. I pulled out my phone and called up Kayla. I just remembered that I had something to tell her.

~~~Phone Convo~~~

Kayla: Hello?

Tegon: HI! I have something very. very. Important to tell you.

Kayla: Then why are you wasting time?! Spill!

Tegon: I have 5 tickets for the Warped Tour!

Kayla: OHMYGOSH! Andyouwaitedthislongtotellme?