Where I Belong

Kabanata 18

Truth

After a tearful farewell with the Millers, I went to my plane. Mr. Kade insisted na sunduin ako. Which I'm very thankful for.

So Mr. Kade drove me back home. The familiar sights of my neighborhood felt strangely foreign after spending so much time with my newfound family.

I took a deep breath before stepping inside the house, trying to prepare myself for whatever awaited me.

As soon as I entered, I was greeted by an unsettling silence. My mom was sitting on the couch, a bottle of alcohol in her hand. Her eyes were glazed over, and she seemed lost in thought. The moment she noticed me, a bitter smile curled on her lips.

"Well, well, well. Look who decided to come home," she mumbled, taking another sip from the bottle. "Siguro ang lungkot mo ngayon no?"

I stood there, frozen. Her words cut through me like a knife. I had hoped for a peaceful reunion, but it was clear that wasn't going to happen.

She laughed, a harsh, mocking sound that echoed through the room. "Sa tingin mo hahayaan kitang maging masaya doon? Kung tutuusin ikaw dapat yung nakulong dahil sa ginawa mo sa asawa ko."

My heart sank. I knew my mom had her demons, but hearing her say these words out loud was devastating. I had spent so much time blaming myself for what happened, and now she was confirming my worst fears.

She scoffed, shaking her head. "Happiness? You think you deserve that? After everything?"

Tears welled up in my eyes. "I was just a kid, Mom. I didn't mean for any of it to happen."

"But it did happen," she spat, her eyes filled with hatred. "And now, you have to live with it."

I couldn't take it anymore. The weight of her words, the guilt, and the pain were too much to bear. I turned and ran upstairs to my room, slamming the door behind me. I collapsed onto my bed, sobbing uncontrollably.

Dinner time came, and the tension in the air was palpable. My mom and I sat across from each other at the table, the silence between us heavy with unspoken words.

She had a new bottle of alcohol next to her plate, and her eyes were filled with a mixture of anger and bitterness.

"You think you're so special, don't you?" my mom sneered, breaking the silence. "Living with the Millers, acting like you're one of them."

I kept my head down, refusing to engage. Pero hindi siya tumigil.

"You don't deserve any of it. You don't deserve their kindness, their love. You're nothing but a burden."

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, but I fought them back. "Kailan po ba kayo titigil?" I finally asked, my voice shaking. "Why do you hate me so much? And I know that this is not just about Dad's death. Simula bata pa lang ako, you hated me."

My mom's face twisted with anger and something else—pain. For a moment, she was silent, and then she spoke, her voice low and filled with bitterness. "You want to know why I hate you? Fine. I'll tell you."

I looked up, my heart pounding in my chest.

"You’re not my daughter, Brea. You're the child of your father and his previous girlfriend. Your real mother abandoned you, and your father brought you to me, expecting me to raise you like my own."

I felt like the ground had been ripped out from under me. "What?" I whispered, barely able to comprehend what she was saying.

"Your father doted on you, gave you all the attention. And what did I get? Nothing. I was always second place, always living in the shadow of his love for you. I was jealous of you, Brea. You took everything from me."

Tears streamed down my face as the truth sunk in. The coldness, the resentment—it all made sense now. "I didn't ask for any of this," I said, my voice breaking. "I didn't ask to be born, to be abandoned, to be brought into your life."

My mom's eyes were filled with a mix of anger and sorrow. "I know," she said softly. "But it doesn't change anything."

The room fell into a heavy silence. I felt like I couldn't breathe, the weight of my mom's confession crushing me.

"I... I need to go," I said, standing up abruptly. I couldn't be in that room any longer, couldn't face the person who had harbored so much hatred for me all these years.