Conversations I'll never have

Defending my teak

6-20-24

The words flew off her tongue too easily. She said it as if it was only a joke, but I could tell this thought runs through her mind often.

Wow. Is this what she thinks of me?

And what response did she want? A "yes?"

I was disappointed. I was even shocked. I exhaled and said, "no," because that was the truth.

But even if it wasn't, I would have still said no because I would have never given her the answer she wanted.

It was actually kind of sad. For her. It sounded like she thinks she's higher, despite coming off as very low. It sounded like this thought dances through her mind often. It plays music for her. It's there when she feels bad about herself.

I guess it was sad for me too. It hurt to be thought of as less than. It burned.

The wood is still smoldering.