$ugar ($outh $ide $ugar $equel)

-J.A.J

Scrim opened my bedroom door, my back was leaned against my bed and I held my wrist close to my stomach.

Scott looked at me, he didn't say anything but he bent down "Wrap your arms round my neck baby.." he said softly and I did.

He picked me up, walking me to the bathroom and sat me down on the counter.

"Hi baby" I said softly, "hey princess.." he said.

He gently pulled my sleeve up, he sighed. Scrim cleaned up my arm, bandaging it up tightly but not enough to hurt me more.

"look at your hair.." I said softly, running my hands through his hair.

He chuckled, "Are you high Angel?" He asked me. I nodded, he didn't say anything but you could see the disappointment in his eyes.

"Ari's downstairs" he told me, "why.. are y'all in Nola, I thought.. I thought that he was gonna stay up there with you for awhile" I said softly.

"Because baby, you been avoiding everybody's calls for three months sweetie" he told me

"I know" I said, he cupped the underside of my legs and picked me up laying me down in my bed.

"Can.. can" I said softly, "Yes we'll stay" he told me.

"I'll be back" he said kissing my forehead, I sighed staring up at the ceiling. I was exhausted, but I wasnt at the same time.

Soon, Ruby peeked his head in my room and came and laid down beside me. I laid my head in his chest as he rubbed my back.

"I love you" I told him, "I love you too Bae" he told me.

I held my head in his chest, almost as if I was trying to keep myself together. I wanted to break down, I wanted to tell him what was wrong but I couldn't. I couldn't.

"What happened baby..?" Ruby asked me and the tears started flowing " wasted two years of my sobriety on a fucking piece of shit woman.."i told him softly.

"Your ma?" He asked and I nodded, he held me until I cried myself to sleep in his chest. I didn't care about what the boys did, I just wanted to love them but it was so almost impossible because I couldn't love myself right now.

I slept that night and almost the whole day, I didn't wanna get up or anything. But I got up around 5 pm.

I sat up, Ruby wasn't in bed but that's fine but blue wasn't in his cage. Well fuck.

I thought to myself as I got up out my bed and walked downstairs, Scrim was laid up on my couch and the backdoor was open.

"What'd y'all do with my puppy?" I asked rubbing my eyes, "Ruby took him outside to use the restroom princess" he told me and I nodded.

"Come here Kid" he told me, I climbed on the couch with him and he held me. We were laying side by side.

Soon the backdoor closed, and Blue came pitter-pattering his way into the house with Ruby walking behind him.

I looked up at Ruby and he kissed my forehead, "Imma head out, y'all good?" He asked and Scott nodded.

Ruby nodded as he walked out the door, locking the door before he did.

Scrim laid his hand on my waist, pulling me close.

He laid his head on my chest, "Scott?' I said softly, he mumbled something to me. "What love?" I asked.

"You smell good ma" he told me, I chuckled.

Me and him crashed on the couch, we were both asleep within the hour. It was nice to have him home, I missed him.

When we woke back up, the front door opened and it was a familiar face.

"Fuckk" I said laying my head in Scotts chest, "So, your just ducking your therapists calls?"I heard Amire say.

"No?" I said softly, he sat down in the chair across from the couch. "Oh so we lying now?" Amire asked

"I'm sorry" I said softly, "You have a therapist?" Scott asked.

"No he's my manager" I said, "Yeah, hey Scott" Amire said.

"What's poppin'" he said softly, and Amire nodded.

"Why you in bed, don't you got tracks to release?" He said and I groaned, "This is a couch first of all, and second yes i do"i said.

"I don't Wanna get up tho" I said, "Get up or I'm selling the Dog" Amire said and I got up, walking away to the studio.

Amire followed behind me and sat down in the seat next to me, I opened up the Mac book and sighed rubbing my face.

"You ok?" Amire asked, "Withdrawals bub, but im good" I said softly, just scrolling through the tracks.

"Ay angel, You know Kev and Nick are coming down here?" Scott said leaning in the doorway on his phone.

"When?" I asked, "Now, they'll be here inna hour" he told me and I nodded. I sighed, uploading the tracks before getting up.

"You alright?" Scott asked me, "Yeah, im straight" I said, "Whee u going?" He asked me, "To piss, you Gon hold it?" I said walking past him making Scott chuckle.

I walked past him up to my bedroom, stepping inside the bathroom and shutting the door behind me.

(You wanna hear bout me piss or..)

I washed my hands, before sitting down on the floor and sighing before shooting up and sitting there for a minute or two to calm down.

I sighed, rolling my sleeves down from washing my hands and walking out the Bathroom, and out my bedroom door back downstairs.

I sat down on the couch, blue jumped up with me and I turned on the tv. Scott walked out the studio doorway and sat down next to me and he looked at me.

"Why you staring..?" I asked, he brushed the hair behind my hand and I tensed up. "You know you don't gotta lie to us, Me and Ari" he told me.

I nodded, later on the front door opened and it was Ruby. He sat down on the other side of me and laid his head on my lap, I chuckled and so did Scott. I started messing with his hair, a couple minutes later, and a sleeping me and Ruby later. Clearly high, as fuck.

The front door opened and it was Nick and Kev, "Don't be loud, the sheep are sleeping" Scott said and Kev and Nick chuckled. They shut the front door softly.

They came and sat down in front of the TV watching whatever the fuck was playing.

"Is she high?" Kev asked Scott, "How'd you know?"he asked.

"She's got needle marks Scott.." Nick said softly, what neither one of us realized was.

The sleeve to my arm has rolled up, and the needle marks were obvious.

Just. A. Junkie.