Bleeding Heart (Tam Nakano X Male OC)

Pride

(A/N: I want to make a quick disclaimer and say that I have not had anyone come out as transgender to me, nor did anyone in my family come out as a member of that community, but my sister-in-law came from a background where she lived with two dads as a child, so that should count in some way.

However, if there is anyone in the LGBTQ Community who are transgender and they're wrestling fans and they're reading this, finding it offensive, please don't hate me for getting some things wrong. I've done enough research on this subject so I don't know if I've gotten some things wrong or right. Let me know if I did get some things wrong, because it's better to learn than just winging it and hope for the best.

Anyway, this is a very special chapter as it's a shoutout to the LGBTQ+ community, but if anyone finds this offensive, please let me know, and I'll take this chapter down out of respect for the community and not push it much further.

Hope you guys enjoy it and if you did, let me know!)

~With Aleki, May 13th 2022~

I decided to go for a walk through Yoyogi Park and take my mind off of things.

However, it wasn't working, so instead of staying at the park, I decided to go to the beach instead, to clear my head.

I walked along the sand and it was a pretty good feeling. The grains on my feet and just having something to keep my mind occupied.

However, I felt as if it wasn't enough, so I sat down near a rock, set it up near another, pressed the selfie feature, and started recording my thoughts.

Just to vent, you know?

Me: So, uh, hi, I guess. As we all know, it'll be two years since Hana, our priceless flower, passed away. It's been hard these past two years, and I will admit, it gets harder and harder each day, knowing that I'm not gonna see her again, you know?

I then covered my mouth for a bit to hide my emotions as I continued after a bit.

Me: It's a good beach. I mean, it really soothes my mind when I feel like cutting myself, and it's something that I don't wanna do ever again because Tamu-chan, shout out to you, saved me from bleeding to death.

I then took my jacket off and pulled my shirt sleeve up to show the tattoo and the scar I have from when I cut myself.

Me: Just look at it. It's beautiful, isn't it? I got that for Hana after I tried to kill myself, because she would've wanted me to keep living. I didn't want anyone to notice the scar I have above my forearm. You can't see it, but there's a bump, I promise you.

I then took a deep breath and kept going, but I started to get emotional for a bit.

Me: I'm still broken about her being gone. I don't think anyone but a few people could ever understand how much that impacted my life: to see her die in front of me, to be near her lifeless body...

I then teared up, with my voice cracking...

Me (voice cracking): ...to never see her again, to not grow old with her, and—

I took a really deep breath before I kept going as well, knowing that I had to try and stay strong.

Me (voice cracking): She was full of love and life, and that life is gone. There were times where I blamed myself for not being there for her, in her final moments. I'm sorry.

I put my hand near my mouth and that was when I started crying, but as silently as possible.

To not help her as she was dealing with the online bullying, it made me feel so guilty. I felt like I couldn't do anything. Every time I talked to her, she always said she was fine and never said a word.