Begin Again

Funeral bells

The funeral was held on a sunny Thursday morning. The church was packed with relatives, friends and strangers. They all hugged me and told me they were so sorry for my loss.

I didn't really know what to say or do, especially to the strangers. I just felt empty and more alone than ever.

Sunlight streamed in through the stained glass windows and the church was sprinkled with multicoloured beams of light. It was so beautiful. The four coffins were brought up the aisle. I didn't really understand why there was a need to use coffins when there was nothing in them. Maybe it was because they gave everyone a false sense of security. The church bells rang out, echoing around the church, which was silent as a grave (excuse the tasteless pun) except for the occasional muffled sob or sigh.

The priest asked if anyone wanted to say a few words. At first I hesitated, but then I stood up and walked slowly over to the microphone. All eyes were on me. I cleared my throat, wiped my eyes and began.

"A couple of weeks ago, I lost my family forever in a tragic accident. Firstly, I would like to thank everyone for coming here today, comforting and supporting me. I cannot put into words what I'd give just to hear both my sisters teasing me again. Just to feel my mums warm hug again. Just to see my dad grinning warmly at me. It feels like I'm a jigsaw puzzle that's lost a piece; incomplete and alone. I'm not very good with words, but a wise person once said 'when words fail, music speaks.' This is how I'm going to convey my love and grief for my family. Through the song 'fix you' by Coldplay. It has gotten me through so much recently. Just listen to the lyrics, you will understand."

I took plugged my iPod into speakers and played the song. The organ echoed around the church as the intro was played. Then came the chorus. It was just magical. Everyone, including me was in a trance, lost in the music. When the music stopped, I looked up. Everyone was sobbing (including myself). I quickly took my iPod and sat down. Then, everyone stood up and started clapping. They all told me that that was just beautiful and that my family would be proud. At that moment, I felt like they were watching down on me, beaming. That made me happy.

After the mass, the coffins were buried in the graveyard outside the church. Everyone stood around a giant hole as the four coffins were lowered into the earth and covered with soil. Someone put their arm around me, but I didn't look at them. My eyes were distracted by a family of four robins, perched in a tree, fluttering their wings and playing around. As the final prayers were said and people began to leave, the birds also flew away. My heart was racing. I wasn't sad now. My family were free, free as a bird. Someone whispered in my ear asking if I was okay. Sally. I turned round to her and gave her an enormous hug. 'I'm glad you came" I whispered as she ran her fingers through my hair and patted me. I felt comforted and safe. I had Sally now.