Begin Again

First impressions

Life is all about first impressions. Who cares about what you say or do after that first impression you made, it won't ever change the way someone looks at you. You're judged once and everything you do after is based on that one time. My peers in my new school were going to be just like some heartless judges sitting at a panel, waiting for me to perform. That's how I looked at it. They were just waiting for me to put on a show, for them to remember me. And I was adament they would never forget me.

I was trying my very best that morning. I dragged a brush through my knotty hair and straightened it until it hung down my back, limp with strands like pink spaghetti and the ends. I put on my brand new uniform, loosening my tie, making my shirt hang out of my jumper and shortening my skirt. Next I did my makeup, which was something I rarely bothered with. But today I just had to. I shoved all my multicoloured bracelets onto my wrist, grabbed my bag and left for school.

The bus stop was a good ten minute walk from my house, and I was already running late, so I had to energetically power walk to make sure I wouldn't miss the bus. When I got there, there was just one girl waiting. She looked around my age, had black hair and a pretty little slender face. She had her headphones in and was half alsleep, staring at the ground. She didn't even salute me. I pretended not to care and began humming to myself, shivering. It was an icy morning, and the bitter wind stung my face harshly.

Five minutes passed and the bus still hadn't arrived and it was ten to nine. But why was the other girl still waiting. Why wasnt she worrying? I wondered if I should call Sally or someone, but as I felt for my phone in my pocket, I got that horrible feeling. It wasn't there, I had forgotten it. I kept wondering if I should talk to the other girl... She wouldn't bite, would she?

I felt so awkward, but I had to get her attention somehow. I shouted 'hey' hoping she'd hear me. She just continued bopping her head in time to her music. I tried again, several times. Still no reply. I began to get slightly frustrated.

I strided over to her and waved my hand in front of her face. This time she took out her earphones and looked up at me. She had pretty emerald eyes, but they looked as if they had lost there sparkle a long time ago. 'Yep?' she asked. She sounded somewhat happy that I had tried to speak to her.

I could feel myself going beetroot. 'Ammm is the bus always this late?' I asked, trying to sound calm, like I didn't really care.

She held out her hand, and I shook it. 'Lorna is the name' she told me, grinning. 'Oh and the bus never stops here.' Her grin was so wide it looked like her face was going to burst. I liked that though. 'Hazel' I replied, not quite sure what else to say.

Lorna and I sat cross legged chatting for awhile. We played twenty questions. She went to the same school as me, but was just 'taking the day off' today. She shared my absolute adoration for Ed Sheeran and she was in a band 'Orange toast' she just needed a singer and a guitarist to complete it. Also, she is a vegetarian, has asthma, and is saving up to go to Paris. Half way through a deep discussion about music, I realised I really needed to go to school!

I reluctantly told Lorna and she just shrugged her shoulders and told me to go ahead. But she wouldn't come.

The walk to school was a long, cold and windy one. As I walked, passing people looked at me and tutted, assuming I was dossing. I just rolled my eyes and continued. Finally I arrived, an hour late. 'Be graaaand' I thought to myself and entered the building nervously.

I trudged down the entirely empty, dimly lit corridors, my footsteps echoing my every footstep. On the inside I was shaking, but on the outside I was all 'cool.' First impressions. That's all that mattered at the moment. I finally found the office and a small, bitter looking woman, welcomed me halfheartedly and directed me to my classroom.

She knocked on the classroom door, half waved to the teacher, gestured for me to go inside, and left briskly. I was left standing at the back of the classroom, thirty students gazing upon me curiously, just almost examining me. If felt as I was something on display in a museum, vulnerable and trapped behind glass. The barrier between everyone else and I was broken when the teacher decided to speak. She was in her mid twenties, but then , I'm not very good at guessing ages. She had poker straight hair and a soft, slim face. She gave me a wide, welcoming grin and introduced herself as Miss Graham. She was my new English teacher, and immediately I knew we'd get along. She pointed to an empty seat beside a girl called Rachel and plonked myself down there. Rachel had big brown puppy eyes, and was wearing the 'don't pick on me' look. I smiled at her and she returned the smile nervously. From that moment, I knew I wanted a friend like Rachel. She seemed quite quiet, yet clever and and had a good taste of music judging by the song lyrics doodled all over her tattered looking English copy.

At lunch I went to look for Rachel, but I couldn't find her anywhere.

I was invited to sit at a group of girls' table at lunch. The group consisted of Jenna, with her long blonde hair and cute girly giggle, Sam, the one with amazing curly hair and a sailing fanatic and also Liz who was busy instagraming her lunch which contained a roll, a chocoate bar and an apple. I couldn't help but laugh. She just stuck her tongue out at me childishly and began taking a picture of her appealing lunch from another angle.

Suddenly, Jenna tapped me on the shoulder, leaned in and whispered 'Don't look now, but Rob, over at the table beside the bin is looking at you' I could feel myself going beetroot. 'He might ask you to the disco!' I mumbled something about having plans that night but Lorna just didn't know when to stop and yelled across to Rob to ask me out. I peered around to Rob. I had never seen him before. He was by far the best looking boy in my new class with his dirty blond hair and cheeky grin. My heart sank with disappointment when he just shrugged his shoulders and started laughing.