CYHMSYNF - Ghost B.C x Reader - discontinued

Little Sunshine

alive?

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Copia x F!reader

Trigger Warnings
-blood
-self harm

Type
-angst
-comfort

Element
-Unspecified

Pov
-second

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What had you done to get here? Sitting across from Papa with a blank expression while neither said anything. The seconds ticked by and you sat with your legs crossed on the seat, fingers picking at your nails like they were the most important thing in the room.

You didn't want to say anything. Where could you begin? Things were getting better, they really were. But then the thoughts started again. Those deeming, self doubtful, isolating thoughts that made all the progress crumble at the foundations until you ended up bleeding before you could even think to stop yourself.

Phantom had been the one to find you and alert the Sisters of Sin who aided you. Then you were brought to Papa. In his office you sat, his fingers drumming against his desk as he gave you that familiar, concerned look. You had promised you were doing better, and you had been...

"Cara Mia... Poco Sole..." He mumbled under his breath as he eyed the bandages that were now wrapped around your wrist. He wasn't wearing his usual robes because of the late hour. It was oddly confronting to sit across from him in nothing but pyjamas.

Your throat tightened, that constricting feeling that came with tears rising. When you opened your mouth no words came out, just a small whimper. With clenched fists you rubbed your eyes, wiping away the early forming tears that threatened to spill. You didn't want to cry. Not in front of Copia. Not when you already seemed so pathetic and-

No. Not pathetic. Deep breaths. With your head back you closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm yourself. Your hands lowered and the tears were allowed to slip free, down your cheeks as those thoughts were forced away.

He had told you before it was ok to cry, to talk about what happened.

"T-the thoughts came back..." You started and slowly looked at him. He was silent, allowing you to talk without interruption and explain what had happened. He was a good listener when you needed it most.

"I-i was back there, they wouldn't go away and I didn't want to burden anyone" Your voice was slightly choked as that burning sensation came along. The bandages around your wrist were secured tightly so they wouldn't come undone and all sharp objects had been removed from your room again.

"Oh my Sunshine... You are not a burden to me, or the siblings, or even Sis-Tor. My darling girl... Cara Mia, you must discuss these things with us" He stood up and made his way to where you sat. Gently, he spun the chair so that you faced him before he knelt down on one knee. Copia took your bandaged wrist and placed a kiss to your hand before giving another to your covered wound. He looked up at you from below, not breaking eye contact even as you looked away.

"{Name}, please Cara Mia, look at me" He whispered and stood back up. He placed a hand under your chin and tilted it up, forcing you to look at him. Your eyes had become slightly red and agitated from tears, your lower lip quivering and making you bite it to stop it from doing so.

"Still so beautiful" Copia murmured and placed yet another soft kiss to your forehead. He repeated this process with both your tear stained cheeks and then your nose. Small marks were left behind from his face paint. He smiled warmly down at you, his thumb caressing your cheek and smudging the paint he left behind.

"..." Without saying anything you sighed and moved forward to wrap your arms around his midsection. Your forehead rested against his chest while you took some more deep breaths, inhaling his familiar scent of his body wash and cologne. It had always had a small calming effect on you when you needed it most.

You stayed like that for a while. His hands stroked up and down your back, tracing soothing lines or just rubbing it as you let out all the tears and built up tension. When you finally pulled back he wiped the tears from your eyes with the pads of his thumbs. Things had been feeling numb lately but he always managed to bring feeling back.

"...Thankyou Copia... Let's return you to bed" You gave a small smile and then stood. Those isolating thoughts were pushed aside again as you took his hand and lead him out of his office.

Next time you would let someone know.

Next time you knew there would be someone there for you.

Next time you wondered if it would still be true when that time came...

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-L

Words: 806