talking to him

version two

𝖙𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗 𝖜𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌𝖘 𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖉 𝖎𝖓 𝖆𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗'𝖘 𝖓𝖔𝖙𝖊

</3

"i finally understand the term 'robbing the cradle'."

no matter how hard karl has worked, he hasn't been able to shake off what ryan had said in the office when they had a meeting upon karl's return to work this morning.

usually, karl struggles to brush aside the remanent feelings of his godfather's hands on him and, whilst he is still struggling with that now, it's the comment he made that's really disturbed him. it's stuck in his head like a repeating loop and he feels so disgusted he could vomit.

"i finally understand the term 'robbing the cradle'."

karl knows that the phrase refers to liking someone, especially sexually, that is significantly younger than you, but that doesn't stop him from dwelling over the choice of words as if it means something completely different.

'the cradle.'

it doesn't matter that it's a well-known saying, it has still led karl to question how long ryan has actually seen him this way. he would like to think that his godfather never thought to take advantage of him as a child, but he would also like to think that the man who should protect him wouldn't harass him now, yet he does.

it's hard to try and see the good in the world when the world is so adamant on showing you all of the bad.

the last hour of being stuck in his head is shattered by the incoming alert of an email entering his inbox, and karl tries to swallow back his still-present disgust as he opens up his mail.

a small smile finds his lips when he sees that it's from sapnap, and that smile only grows when he opens the attached image of him and quackity when they were messing around on the bed in london. with the image is a simple 'look how cute, love you' message, and the brunette's heart is momentarily warmed despite his inner turmoil.

karl's eyes flit to the picture he has of him and sapnap pinned up beside his desk and, on a whim, he decides to print this photo of him and quackity to go with it.

karl is smiling in the picture, more than he remembered himself capable of, and he's reaching across the bed with a wild look in his eyes whilst quackity holds his hands up in a heart shape. karl can hardly remember what they were talking about now, even though it was a mere few days ago, but his thoughts have been surely scrambled since this morning.

it isn't until he collects the picture from the printer and takes it back to his office space that he decides it would be better in black and white, to match the one of him and sapnap, and so he prints a second copy.

it's true that his procrastination is preventing him from getting work done, but his work day already ended half an hour ago and he doesn't think he'll make any progress with his head in this state anyway, so he makes the executive decision to give up for the day even though it means he'll have extra work to catch up on tomorrow.

he pins up the black and white picture beside the one of him and sapnap and smiles to himself before collecting up his belongings and shovelling everything into his bag. maybe tomorrow he'll be frustrated with himself for not finishing up, but he thinks he deserves to be selfish every once in a while.