A Dance to Forever (series #2)

C-02

"Hey dad. How are you?" I asked dad in the call.

{I'm good Jorrel. By the way, ipinipilit parin ba ng mommy mo yung mga bagay-bagay na hindi mo gusto?}

"Yeah...." my voice broke.

{Gusto mobang kausapin ko ang mommy mo tungkol dyan?}

Dad was been my hero since the beginning. He always save me from my mom. He is willing to argue with mom for me. Andami kong maling nagawa sa buhay ko, pero sya lang ang naging tama duon. And i'm so thankful to god that he gave me a heroic dad.

"Wag na dad. Baka pagbuntungan na naman ako non" I laugh a bit.

{Okay, basta kung may problema ka. Don't hesitate to share it with me. I love you anak} he said, and I hanged the call.

I burst into tears again. I can't avoid not to compare mom and dad. Nagbago si mom ng pakikitungo saakin ng malaman nyang magkaibigan kami ni Ella. At that time, I don't know why. At nung nalaman nya ring pangalawa lang ako sa katalinuhan ni Ella ay nagbago din sya.

Akala koba, mothers will never leave their child even in their darkest, and lowest points in lives? Bakit iba yung nanay ko?

I sighed and stood up. Lumabas ako sa kwarto ko at tumungo sa garden. There, I saw our old but still living tree. I smiled when I saw my tree house. It still looked stirdy. I come closer and I saw an engraved heart. Ang heart ay may laman na "JJ"

"JJ" means 'Jop-jop and Jorrel' Jop-jop was my friend when i'm still five years old. He's a boy. Anak sya ng dati naming driver. Si Mang Ambo. Naging close kami dahil sa isang sayaw.

Sayaw na gusto kung maulit muli...

Pero nung natapos na ang gabing iyon, nawala sya. Nawala sya na parang bula. Akala ko, panghabang-buhay ang kaibigan. Hindi pala. Dadaan at dadaan lang sila sa buhay mo. Because friends are just using you, sa lahat. Pwede ka nyang kaibiganin dahil bored sila. O baka may ibang rason.

Masama ba ako para walang sinuman ang kumaibigan saakin? I'm I really that bad?

I climbed on the stairs to the tree house. I can barely hear the creaking of the wood floor. Gosh! I didn't ate to much! I'm controlling my appetite now! Judgemental masyado 'tong puno na 'to!

Maalikabog nadin dito. Matagal-tagal nadin kasi akong hindi nakakadalaw dito. I think I visited this was seven years ago. Eleven pa kasi ako nun. Kahit maabog dito ay hindi parin ako nandidiri. Napapangiti nalang ako pag naaalala ko ang mga memories ko dito. Yes, they are just memories.

Naaalala kopa na si daddy yung gumawa nito. Because I was the one who insisted it. I saw my Toy box, I even saw my crochet headband. My Lola gave me back then. It was dusty, very dusty. Madaming katulong namin ang nag insist na linisan 'to. But I declined their offers. Ayaw kong linisan 'to dahil nandito lahat ng memories, yung friendship, genuine love, I can also feel Lola Divina And Lolo Carlo's hugs.

Lumapit ako sa side table duon. Actually, hindi sya luma. Kabibili kolang neto. Dahil dito ko itinatago ang anti-depressant kong gamot. Yes, I am regularly taking this. Well, prescripted naman ito ng personal Doctor ko. May personal doctor kami buong pamilya, but I want this to be a secret. Dahil alam kong magco-comment naman si mom ng mga ka OA-han nya.

Mom doesn't take mental problems/illnesses/issues serious. Sinasabi nya lang na 'Hindi yan nakakamatay' but the truth is, yes. Nakakamatay ito. Mental disorders kills and creeps you silently.

It's not the world who is not fair to me, it's the people around me. I still love and care for my life. And I don't wanna lose it. Ipapamukha kopa kay mom na kaya ko ng wala yung tulong nya.

And to keep myself healthy in blue, I drink anti-depresant when my depression and anxiety attacks me.

I still care for myself.

-Kindly read, vote and comment for your thoughts!

-Nicss