Jegulus One Shots <3

#57 Forgive Me (Part One)

Forgive me.

Regulus sat at the library desk alone, tucked away in one of the back isles where he stared at his tattoo in despair. Regulus dipped the quill in the ink and placed it on the paper, he left it there for a moment, he didn't actually know what he was going to say.

After Sirius found out Regulus had gotten the dark mark their relationship had been in ruins. Regulus knew that he couldn't tell Sirius the truth, at that time anyway, but now he had a chance to explain. He didn't want to leave this world with a brother who hated him, and Sirius deserved to know the truth.

Regulus continued to write on the paper, he had lost a lot of people because of the mark, not just Sirius, and Barty and Evan were practically his only friends now. The look on Pandora's face when she saw the mark was something that shattered Regulus, she had put so much faith and love into him only to find out Regulus could do something as foolish as that.

And of course there was James...

Night had fallen and Regulus folded the letter into an envelope, he walked through the dark halls and reached the portrait door for the Gryffindor common room. Regulus knocked on the frame, hoping someone would hear and pass the letter over to Sirius. And someone did open it, the last person Regulus had expected to see.

"Hey Reg- Regulus, hi"

Regulus felt his chest tighten, "hi James"

James looked out to each side of the portrait, and then stepped out to be in front of Regulus, "what are you doing here?"

"I need you to give this to Sirius."

"That's it?"

Regulus diverted his gaze briefly so he couldn't see the plea in James' eyes but the look was too long and James picked up on his expression, they had dated for 3 years so James knew what to look for.

"Reg...what's wrong? Look I know it's been rough recently, I know you've pushed me away for a reason and I'm not going to lie, the break up still hurts but you..." James searched for Regulus' eyes but when Regulus finally made eye contact James could tell something was wrong or at least, different.

"Regulus, what's going on?"

Regulus pulled down his sleeve and took in a deep breath before looking into James' eyes again, letting himself get lost in the amber warmth that had made James so easy to fall for in the first place.

"James, I want you to know that those three years were the most difficult yet beautiful years of my life. You are so full of, life and light! The complete opposite to what I was and, Merlin you are- were everything I could've dreamed of..."

"Were?"

Regulus sighed at his pathetic voice, "please give this to Sirius" he handed the envelope over and James nodded. Regulus turned around but James spoke up before he could walk away,

"For the record Regulus, I feel the same. You may think you're too dark or lost for this world but you were the light that guided me when I needed it most. Everyone expects me to be so happy and joyful because "that's just James" but with you, I could be myself. I'm sorry if myself wasn't enough"

Regulus quickly turned around with tears in his eyes but James had already closed the portrait and Regulus didn't know the password to get in. Regulus laid his head against the painting and let the tears fall, he put a hand on the portrait and closed his eyes, imagining James and him lying in the astronomy tower one last time,

"I love you"

~
James walked over to the common room couch where his friends were sitting, he looked at Sirius who was happily sitting with Remus talking about quidditch whilst Remus just listened with no interest.