Better days (JJxOC)

Peace

Next day I was at Hotch's office since 6am. He called me in for a talk which I hoped I could dread, but it didn't work. I left my apartment at about 3am and worked out at the gym for a little over three hours before taking a quick shower and joining Aaron in his office.

I closed the door and took a seat. He closed his files and looked up at me before he sighed and shook his head.

"Why are you constantly being this reckless?" He asked me finally.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Maya, don't play dumb with me," I said, "Whenever there's the slightest danger you go head first, fearless."

"It's not like I'm doing this on purpose, Aaron," I told him scoffing.

"Everyone here is doing their best and you just go and jeopardize that. You have no sense of self-preservation," he said.

"I do what I do only to save people," I said simply.

"What about saving yourself first? Why do you care more about a stranger in captivity than your own safety?" He asked raising his voice.

I scoffed, "Because I once was a person in captivity, Aaron. Honestly, do you think you and Emily are the only ones who've ever been through a trauma?" I asked.

"No, don't do that. Don't bring Emily into this. You don't get to act like a spoiled little brat in my office," he said.

"Why is it okay for Emily to do whatever she wants, but it's not okay for me?" I asked, "Because I'm not hiding in my apartment or go bar hopping the next day?"

"Maya," he started.

"Honestly. You and Emily are so busy supporting each other. Have either of you even noticed that I went through a trauma too?" I asked.

He just looked at me so I scoffed a little and shook my head before continuing.

"You only made the call, but I was actually there. You don't know how hard it is seeing your girlfriend shot and having to decide whether you should let her bleed out or watch your sister get a bullet between her eyes and then hearing her crying out when she got beaten over and over because you asked her too keep your girlfriend alive," I said.

He just continued to look at me. He opened his mouth to say something, but he didn't. So I did instead.

"It's so hard, that I looked him in the eyes and told him to shoot me instead. That's how hard it is to be the person in captivity. So excuse me if I don't want anyone else to go through that," I told him.

"We still have to talk about the consequences," he said firmly not referring to anything I had just said.

"Fire me if you want to," I said getting up, "Good riddance."

With that I got up and left the office. I didn't wait to hear what he had to say because I could fill that in myself. I was either benched or fired and honestly I didn't care about neither anymore.

I saw JJ on my way out of his office and it took me a bit off guard because she wasn't supposed to be here for at least over an hour. We didn't really talk much these days. We were living next to each other, not together.

„You're here early," I said stopping.

She nodded slightly, „Couldn't sleep. What did he say?"

„Honestly? Surprisingly not much," I scoffed a little, „He always has a lot to say, but not this time."

She sighed slightly, „What about your job?"

I shrugged leaning back against a wall, „I don't know. I didn't stick around to listen about that."