Dimly lit

10

He stares up at me, as i hover over him, holding the gun to his neck and pushing on it slightly. 
His breathing was shakey, he let out a small groan and closed his eyes. I slowly start to kiss his neck and shoulder, he grips on my waist. 

I slowly drag the gun down to his pants. 
"There could be something better then a gun here" 
He weakly laughed and grabs the gun, "stop messing with me" he said, i push the gun on his crotch. He groaned louder. 

"god Lilith.." he let out a shakey sigh, I could not help but feel like i had some power over him in this moment, I slowly reach my hand down and unzip his pants he placed a hand on my hand, "Fuck" He mumbles. "You are driving me insane" 

"whats the idea"
I put a hand on his lower waist, pulling his pants down slightly and moving my hand down, placing the gun to the side. I slowly move my hands down to his boxers, slowly moving one of my hands into them, he lets out a low groan, feeling him hard under my hand. He was groaning as i moved my hand around, He grips my lower thigh, Letting out an exhale, I lean in closer to his ear, not speaking. Just breathing heavy into his ear as my hand strokes him. 

He looks up at me, he tries to speak but his voice comes out as a shakey whimper-like noise, He looks back up at me, still gripping my thigh, he lays back, i moved my hand out of his boxers, he grabs my wrist, "don't start something you can't fucking finish" He said, his voice almost breathless. He moves my hand back down, i started to move my hand around again, making him groan louder

He moved his hand to my hair, wrapping it around his hand and pulling me down to face level, he stares at me right in the eyes, holding back his groans

He shut his eyes tightly, "fucking hell" 

He suddenly grabs my waist and flips me over so he was on top of me, he quickly pulled my pants down, i gasped as i felt him slide into me. My breath was shakey and so was his. He stared at me in the eyes, he picked up the gun and held it to my chest, moving deeper into me. My breath went more shakey. He leaned down, kissing my neck and nipping slightly at the skin, i let out a shakey exhale. 

Thats when he threw the gun off the bed, hitting the wall with a thud, he moved faster and rougher, making me let out a shakey groan

"Fuck" He mumbles, letting out a louder groan before sighing against my skin, I let out a gasp. He pulled out and groaned a bit, before letting out a shakey exhale let out a few shakey breaths. He looks down at me, placing his hand in my hair, playing with it and pulling me into a kiss, It was slow but affective, he pulled away and looked back at me in the eyes Kissing my forehead and laying down, resting his head on my chest. 

I put a hand in his hair, playing with it and ruffled it gently, He let out a sigh and leaned into my touch, i saw a smile smile grow on his face as he seemed to melt into my body, "Your heartbeat is fast" He mumbles against my skin

"I wonder why" i laughed, i played with his hair a bit more, making him groan a little bit and sigh deeply. "You gonna stay?" I ask him, He sits up,"Lil.." He says, I felt dissapointed, already knowing what he was gonna say. I slowly grabbed his hair and pulled him over. 

"Stay until i fall asleep?" 
He was quiet for a moment before laying down beside me, i also lay down beside him, we were both staring at each other, he leans in and kissed me. No tongue. No open mouth kisses. Nothing sexaul. It felt almost loving and gentle. He pulled back and wraps his arms around me and held me closer to him, i lean into his touch, He pulls me in, feeling the warmth from his body on mine, i sigh. Feeling relaxed for the first time in months. 

Now i understood why i did not call want to call the police.

 Did that make me just as messed up as him? I honestly could not give a fuck