Book One The Black Lion Old Version

growing affections

 

It had been 6 days since Lonato's death, which had shaken up everyone in the group. All of them were dealing with it in different ways. Ashe was silent and barely said anything. Annette and Felix spent most of their time in silence. Dimitri didn't say much either. Neji and Tenten tried to deal with it by keeping their minds on other things. Dedue, the ever-faithful retainer to Dimitri, spent his time making sure everyone was fed and got enough sleep. It affected him as well, though he did a better job at hiding it. Sylvain tried to make light of the situation through humor, though he had shadows in his eyes. Sasuke was able to see that.

Mercedes stayed completely silent. She said nothing for almost 6 days. The battle affected everyone in different ways. The most affected was Ashe, but he was dealing with it in his own way, and Sasuke wasn't going to interfere. Sasuke was able to sympathize with Lonato, even if he didn't agree with him. Revenge was something he could completely relate to due to his own experience.

The road back, Sasuke was able to appreciate the landscape around him. He thought it was beautiful, despite the situation. Despite what had happened, he couldn't help but admire the beauty that he was seeing around him, if only they weren't on a mission.

With the corner of his eye, he noticed Mercedes. She had not said anything for days, and it was worrying him. The woman who usually wore a smile that could brighten anyone's day was now sad. Most of his classmates hadn't taken lives prior to this mission, and they weren't taking it well. Sasuke would be lying to himself if he wasn't disturbed by what they had done.

Despite his harsh words to Dimitri, it still bothered him what he had done. He didn't care before because the only thing that mattered was seeing Itachi dead by his feet. Everything else didn't matter; doing what was necessary is what motivated Sasuke.

He looked at the Blue Lions, the people that have become his friends. He had changed; he had been denying this for a while. He cares more about other things than revenge. What would his mother think if she found out that he had killed civilians? The opinions of his dead mother shouldn't matter, but to him, it does. What honor does this bring to the Uchiha? He could hear his mother say to him if she were alive.

The harsh reality is that there was no other way. There could have been a wider war had the rebellion not been put down like it was. It was a harsh truth, but Sasuke knew that what they did was necessary, even though it was harsh and perhaps cruel to the people who have lost family members and will forever hate the church. What had happened?

He remembers seeing the looks of people who had lost family members by Sasuke's hand, the hatred in their eyes.

"Murderer," he remembered a boy saying.

"Monster," he heard another. It didn't faze him, hearing it because that's not what concerned him. He looked at Mercedes, who got the ire of a man who had lost his wife and children. He wanted to give his friends space because he wanted to give her time to process what had happened.

He still had nightmares, but he didn't want to burden Mercedes with them. He wanted to be strong for her. He didn't want to be a burden. She deserved someone strong, not someone pathetic and weak.

What was wrong with him? He thought. He decided to disregard it for now and focus on just getting back to the monastery. The party decided to stop for the night due to the rain. Everyone set up their tents. It was raining hard. Sasuke set everything up in his tent, including a mini fire to keep him warm. The jacket that he had on, which was given to him before they left the manor because of how cold the climate was, he hung it above where he would be sleeping. Something was bothering him. He felt like he had to do something. He got up, and when he went outside, he saw Mercedes praying in the soaking rain. Her body was soaked from head to toe.