She was a nucleus of light

After a Bad Night

"Have you ever had your door broken down in the pitch black of a deserted night while your entire family was defenselessly sleeping soundly? A huge boot, right in the middle of your back, about to break it... The cold steel on your neck... A harsh and commanding voice shouting at you, 'Don't move or you'll eat a bullet!' It's extremely hard. Your blood drains, your tongue freezes, the smell of burnt gunpowder in your nose, and the core of a person, even too scared to urinate, quivers. You helplessly submit.

After saying this, Narine pointed to the cabinet at the head of the couch where she was lying and said, 'One of the marks of that night is right there!' Then, pointing to her head and heart, she added, 'The others, the truly painful ones, the ones that will never disappear, are here and here.'

Cemal got up and walked towards the cabinet. He saw the hole in the wooden door as he approached, ran his hand over the hole, and slowly opened the door. The bullet was lodged in the wall, right in front of him...

'My older brother was struggling, saying, 'I didn't do anything, let me go!' But who was listening? They dragged him outside with all sorts of insults and threw him in front of a masked man. My brother, not understanding what was happening, looked up at the masked man in fear. The masked man shouted to someone unseen in the darkness nearby, 'Did they come to this house? Was this one with them? Did they talk to him?' The silent answers he received must have been 'yes,' because questions like 'Who were they? How many were they? Why did they come? What did you talk about?' followed one after another with increasing violence, kicks, and slaps. My poor brother, confused and knowing nothing, kept pleading, 'I was in town, I didn't talk to anyone, I didn't see anyone, you can ask anyone.' But they didn't believe him. Behind us, someone was painfully yanking our hair, showing no mercy. When I heard the masked man shouting like a madman, 'I said the guns, where are the guns?' I realized they were looking for the guns Havin had taken away on the donkeys. The masked man's voice grew louder and angrier each time, reflected in the kicks he threw without regard. My brother knew nothing, what could he say? Finally, the masked man held a gun to his head, shouting like a madman, 'Speak, or I'll kill you right here!' How my mother escaped from the man holding her hair, even now I don't understand, but suddenly I saw my mother at the masked man's feet, begging, 'Please don't, he's telling the truth, he wasn't here today.' My brother was about to pass out. The masked man lifted my mother from the ground. I thought he had taken pity on my brother, believed my mother. He harshly called the man holding me over. As soon as I got to them, I hugged my mother. The masked man grabbed both of us by the nape and said to my brother, 'Look, if you don't tell the truth, I'll give your mother and sister to my men, they'll all take turns with them right before your eyes... Now tell me, where are the guns?' Suddenly, the laughter of men filled with lust broke the silence of the night. I felt like hungry dogs had attacked me. I thought I would lose my mind; my hands and feet went weak. I couldn't understand how God could create such a vile, bloodthirsty, heartless brute, how He could allow such cruelty. But I had faith. I began to pray with all my heart. The masked man started touching my breasts, caressing, kissing my neck and ears in front of everyone. I felt defiled, humiliated before all these people. I wanted to disappear, to shrink away in shame. I tried to bite his hand to escape but failed. The sleeve of his jacket was rolled up to his elbow, and there was a scorpion tattoo on his wrist. My poor brother, face covered in blood, moaned, 'Stop, don't do it! Okay, I'll tell you everything,' sacrificing himself for us. You men can't know what it's like for a woman to have the hands and lips of a man she doesn't want, doesn't love, on her body. What could be worse than this, death? Death was a mere mosquito bite compared to this torment. I had no fear left. As I grabbed the gun from the man beside me, I headbutted the masked man and pressed the muzzle under my chin, shouting, 'He knows nothing, I talked to them, let my brother go!' After they got over their shock, one of them started approaching me with a smirk. I shouted that I knew where the guns were, that if they didn't release my brother and mother, I'd kill myself and they wouldn't get their guns. I really didn't care about anything, I wasn't afraid, and I was ready to kill myself. But the masked man was a true professional, he lifted my brother from the ground and held a gun to his head, saying he would kill him if I didn't speak. My brother, who was very precious to me, was nothing but a worthless piece of dirt to him. He would kill my brother without blinking an eye, without any mercy. He wasn't bluffing, it was clear in every way. Helplessly, I said, 'Abdil, they took the guns from Abdil.' 'That's better, your filthy scum,' the masked man said, hitting my brother's face with the butt of his rifle. My brother's face was covered in blood, and he had passed out. In the darkness, a voice said, 'The girl is telling the truth, I had the guns, I gave them away, leave them alone, they know nothing.' It was Abdil. I was stunned. The men let us go. The masked man and Abdil walked towards Abdil's mansion, which is now your police station, chatting. The masked man was saying, 'So you found the guns and sold them, well done! What if they had found them? These Yankees never drop them where we want, but luckily you found them.'