She was a nucleus of light

An interesting dream

Şair's apartment was on the third floor of the building, with two rooms, a living room, a kitchen, a bathroom, and a modern toilet. It was a small, cute, and practical apartment. When they entered, Narin didn't feel strange this time. She had already learned about the city, its houses, streets, and lifestyle from Teacher Fazilet. Şair, showed her around the rooms, the toilet, the bathroom, and the kitchen, teaching her how to use everything. Narin lingered the longest in the study room, with two walls filled with books. The room contained law and philosophy books. She wanted to take each book, flip through their pages, and smell the long-forgotten scent of books and paper. She ran her hands over the dusty books. It was a joy just to touch and look at them. Şair's father's house had the comfort she had seen at Teacher Fazilet's house, but it wasn't as orderly and clean. In fact, it was quite dirty and needed a good cleaning. Şair's sincere and unpretentious manner, which didn't make her feel inadequate, helped Narin get used to her new environment. After the tour of the apartment was over, Şair, moved towards the kitchen, saying, "Let's brew some tea and take a break while drinking," but Narin didn't let him do it. She had already learned where and how to use everything. She went into the kitchen, but there was no tea in the house. No water either. In fact, there was no food or drink in the house. Şair, realized this when Narin shouted from the kitchen, "There's no tea." "I know there's no water or food either. I'll get them right away," he said and left. Once Şair was gone, Narin realized that she had no significant place in the Şair's life; without him, she was alone.

While sipping their tea, Şair talked about himself at length. He liked being called Şair. He was an only child, his parents were divorced, and after his father died, this house became his with his mother's consent as per his father's will. He talked about university, university life, his friends, his profession, why he went to the mountains with the commandos, and his plans for the future. Şair, had lost his mother a year after his father died. He had relatives, but they didn't keep in touch much. They talked about books and poetry. Narin asked about the things she didn't know and was curious about university life and universities. Then, hesitantly, she asked about İsmail. Şair knew İsmail's wife, Zehra, and his family. Once, when İsmail was on leave, Şair had spent some time with him and met his family at a dinner İsmail had invited him to. Zehra was a woman who carved wood, made wooden sculptures, studied fine arts, cooked well, and was beautiful. They were each other's first loves. Narin learned about Zehra's illness, İsmail's interest in Far Eastern martial arts, and that this was why he became a commando. Later, Şair talked about his adventures in the mountains and his friendships. As she had guessed, İsmail was a man's man. Despite Şair's interest in her and his jealousy of İsmail, his honest acknowledgment that İsmail was a good person was proof that the poet was also a good person.

***

The light seeping through the frosted glass of the room door, indicating that Şair was still in the living room and hadn't gone to bed, also illuminated Narin's room. Şair had prepared the room for Narin and given her the key as he left, saying, "You can lock it if you want." After being undecided for a while about whether to lock her room door or not, she thought it would be wrong not to trust someone who had been kind to her, helped her, and hadn't harmed her, so she didn't lock the door. Lying on her back in bed, staring at the ceiling without blinking, she thought about what she had been through in recent days. After hearing Şair's stories, she felt ashamed of her interest in a married man. She was taking advantage of a sick woman's vulnerable state. She felt a pang of regret, but one cannot command the heart. Would she be able to let go? Her mind told her she should let go, but she wasn't in her right mind; everything was a mess...

When she woke up in the morning, a note left by Ali on the dining table, informing her that he was at the newspaper and would be back in the evening, told Narin she was alone until the evening. She couldn't go out and wander in a neighborhood of a city she didn't know well, and she wasn't fully recovered yet. Fortunately, the house was full of books to read, so she wouldn't get bored.