Wolf Warrior (The Mórrigan's Wolf, Part 2) The Last Kingdom Fanfiction

34 - A New Journey

They laid in that clearing for a long while, allowing Finan to purge all of the anxiety and fear that had built up within him. Faoladhean listened with sadness on her face, their bodies still entwined under their cloaks spread over them like blankets, as Finan recounted everything that had happened from the moment he found her at the lakeside graves, to the morning she woke. He told her about the fight he had gotten into with Sihtric, and why, and about the guilt that threatened to pull him into a dark place he had no desire to return to.

"I thought I had pushed you straight toward your death, my love. By forcing the trip to your village, I mean. Watching you start wasting away, and not knowing better, I thought..." Finan shook his head for a moment as he sighed. "I was convinced it was all my fault." He looked at her as he spoke, his voice still tremulous with emotion. "Especially after learning that you have had the issue with being sick from stress previously," he closed his eyes and shook his head once more. "It is a relief to learn there is another cause for it." Finan opened his eyes and looked into Faoladhean's, and a small smile formed, lifting just the corners of his mouth briefly, then he lowered his gaze. "I may have also told Giric to tell Uhtred to put me to death if - if you died as a result of all that happened."

Freezing with utter shock, Faoladhean stared at him. "You...you did what?!"

He nodded, and met her eyes once more, seeing them wide in horror. "I was not thinking clearly, so fearful and not knowing what condition you were in. Giric tried to talk sense, but I was not in the mood to hear it, and left him before I punched him in the face. That was why I ended up in the church where Sihtric found me a short time later."

Finan held her gaze as Faoladhean searched for something to say. "Well, clearly I am not allowed to die first. You would lose your head, and then everyone would be in trouble. Uhtred would never be able to make a smart decision if his own life depended on it without you around to think for him."

A true smile lit Finan's face briefly as he chuckled softly. "I am going to tell him you said that."

"You wouldn't dare!" Faoladhean looked at him indignantly.

"Oh, I absolutely would."

"You do that, and you can plan on spending the rest of your days sleeping in the stables!"

Finan's smile grew as he saw the humor glinting in her eyes that looked more green against the blue of the borrowed dress, and her own smile on her lips. He pulled her in close as they lay on their sides and kissed her softly. "There's my Faoaldhean. I have missed this part of you," he said quietly, his hand coming up to cup her face, and he trailed his thumb across the edge of her lower lip. His face grew serious again as they gazed at each other for a moment. "I know that whatever comes next for you with all of this, the grief and healing, will not be easy, my heart, but I am glad to see that you are again able to laugh. It has been far too long since I have been graced with your beautiful smile, and I know you are going to have days in which they will not come easily, if at all, but those are the days when you need to lean on me."

"I promise," whispered Faoladhean, gazing at him, her eyes searching between his. "I never meant for you to be hurt. I just...I did not want to burden anyone, especially you. That was the other reason I kept it all buried."

"Firstly, it wouldn't have hurt if I did not love and care for you. And secondly, opening up to someone while grieving does not make you a burden, it makes you human. So you can stop thinking that."

She nodded at him and pursed her lips to kiss the tip of his thumb as he continued tracing it across her lower lip. "I know. You may need to remind me on the bad days."

Smiling gently at her, Finan leaned his head closer to hers again. "I can certainly do that. But that means you have to not always be so stubborn and actually listen to me," he said softly, then kissed her once again. When he pulled back, his eyes were glinting with that mischievous spark that Faoladhean knew all too well. "Since we do not know how far along you are and it's likely still early, that should give us plenty of time to think of names for this wain, hm?"