Noel: I’ve seen the movie the Blue Angel about a billion and one times…. If there is
something better on this earth than Marlene Dietrich playing Lola Lola (The
heartless booze hound harlot) I don’t even want to hear about it…. I tried to go
as her every year for Halloween—I always chickened out… And I’d go as
something like C3P-O…but in my heart, I was Lola Lola, dressed up as C3P-O…
that was always my Halloween costume’s subtext. Mom tells me I've got to try to
blend in, so I tried really hard to dial it back… I had to…we live in a town where
every year on July 11th when Seven Eleven gives out free Slurpees it’s like
seriously the major cultural event of the year…. I’m not even making a joke right
now. It’s like, a Slurpee Woodstock.
I was born in the wrong town, the wrong country, the wrong era! I wanted to
feel, goddamn it. I wanted bad love. I wanted a man that would drive me to drink. I craved dissipation. I wanted to wake up in an alleyway in my own
vomit, missing teeth. I wanted to drink myself to death on the cup of life...
"Anyone who hasn't experienced the ecstasy of betrayal knows nothing about
ecstasy at all." Jean Genet. I was a sexual provocateur and a novelist, who never
wrote a novel...or had sex...(a picture of Noel working at Taco Bell shows up) what's that
Karnak: I was hoping you could tell me
Noel: (sighs) I worked at taco bell in the food court of the mega mall just outside of uranium I had to work somewhere we had no money I was saving up to move to France
Karnak: they named a meal after your passing called "the Noel Gruber hombre meal" (noel gasps) they catered your funeral for free (he gasps louder) they even played Cristina Agulara's beautiful (gasps louder) on the bag pipes (HE YELLS A GASP)
Noel: I only said I liked that song once IRONICALLY a joke was my last song all those waisted hours for a joke
Karnak: I feel like now would be a good time to sing about cheap Mexican cuisine cue the mariachi band
Noel: I DON'T WANNA SING ABOUT THAT
Ocean: IF HE WON'T SING I WILL I REALLY WILL
Noel: OH MY GOSH CAN YOU SHUT UP FOR ONE SECOND YOU HORRIBLE IDIOT (breathes deeply) Fine I'll sing
YOU ARE READING
Ride The Cyclone Script
Humorscript ONLY FOR THE PRODUCTION MY GROUP DOES WITH THE RIGHTS (also we'll have a door bit curtains so anything with the curtains falling and rising will be us entering and leaving the door)
