A Divergent Tale

Chapter Three

After around twenty minutes of fighting the punching bag, my knuckles were slightly swollen. I decided to go to the Fear Landscape room. I haven't been there since my final test. Relieving my worst fears isn't something I exactly enjoy, but... I want to know if anything has changed.

I know Tobias goes in if he's ever upset or stressed, which is absolutely crazy. I walk across the pit and up the stairs to the glass floor. I walk into the simulation room and start to set things up. I pull out a needle containing the injection serum.

"You're going into your simulation?" I hear from behind me, making me jump and curse.

"Jesus Tobias," I say, putting my hand over my heart and turning around to face him.

"Sorry, you weren't in the cafeteria and so I went down to the training room, but Uriah saw you coming up here."

"Er, um, yeah. I haven't been in it since initiation.

He looks at me trying to understand what I'm thinking, "Can I come with you?"

I hesitate. I know I've been in his Fear Landscape, but he has never been in mine, "You're my last fear though," I say looking quietly, looking at my shoes. Thinking of my last fear, intimacy, I'm not so sure how I feel about him watching that.

He walked over to me and caressed my cheek with his hands, "I know. Are you ok with me coming?"

I close my eyes and lean into his hand on my cheek, "Alright," I hand him another needle and he hooks himself up so he's wired to my simulation. We wait for our surroundings to change.

I close my eyes for about a minute, then our surroundings change and I am standing in the empty field. I look to my right and see Tobias watching me. He took my hand as the first bird dive bombed us and pecked me on the chin.

"Ow," I mumble, covering my face as more of the birds come down on us.

More and more of the birds come down, pecking us hard and making us bleed. I try to calm my heart but I can't. Not with the birds flying around. I get down on my knees and close my eyes. I search for the gun in the grass. It takes me a few seconds, but I get it. I start shooting at the birds and, sure enough, the scene changes. I was about to say something to Tobias, but then a big wave crashed into us, knocking us over. I cling onto Tobias's arm for support. I spit out water and cough.

"Well this is an annoying fear," He says.

I nod, "Tell me about it."

I try to hold onto a slippery rock, but I lose grip and let the water carry me down. When I open my eyes, I'm trapped in a glass box. I look down and the water is rising around our ankles.

"What do you do here?" Asks Tobias.

"I usually break the glass, but I think I can calm my heart with you here."

He nods and looks down at the water, now around our waists. He steps forwards and wraps his arms around my hips. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his chest. We prepare to take our last breaths. The water reaches the top and I focus on his arms around me. Not the burning pressure in my lungs. But the feeling of him against my chest. Tobias shakes my shoulders and we're onto the next fear.

"That was really good, Tris."

I nod my head and look at Jeanine standing there with my family tied up. The gun is in her hands, as it usually is.

"You have to kill them," She says, "Or I will kill you,"

I look at her, "You aren't even real," I take the gun from her and shoot myself in the head. Shooting myself is the best way out. That way I won't die, because it's only a simulation, and I don't have to shoot my family.

"I don't like watching you kill yourself, even if it isn't real," Tobias says next to me, his voice a little sad, "It scares me."

I purse my lips and shrug a little. I look around and wait for Peter with his torch to appear. When he doesn't, a spark of hope flares in my chest. Does that mean I only have six fears now? Soon enough the hope dies down once I see Will.

"Tris?" He says, pleading, "Tris, why did you kill me? Huh Tris? I wasn't ready to die!" He yells. His green eyes, staring into mine, "I don't want to be gone! I don't want to leave Christina! Tris why did you shoot me? Tris!"

I start hyperventilating. Strong arms wrap around me. I turn into Tobias and press my face into his chest. My heart is pounding in my ears, so loud it drowns out Will's yelling. I start to breathe and it calms down my racing heart. I let go of Tobias as the scene changes. I open my eyes and see two Fours standing in front of me. One Four, the simulation one, walks towards me. Lust filling his eyes, he pulls me close and starts kissing me. I kiss back, but a split second later, he ushers me towards the bed.

"No," I mutter against his lips.

"Yes, Tris. We are doing this," He says, his rough hands pushing me down. I fall onto the bed and he climbs on top of me.

"I can't. I'm scared," I whisper as his hands hold firm on my hips. He then starts to grope my breasts.

The fake Four did not respond as he continued to suck at my neck. I turn around and see the real Tobias. My Tobias, a few feet away. His face showed a display of many emotions. He looked upset, and worried, but he smiled when he saw me looking at him and the main emotion on his face was love. Love for me. 'I love you' he mouthed.

"I love you too," I whisper back.

I turned my head back to fake Tobias, who was now kissing me even deeper. I know I can't calm down my heart rate like this. I know I'm terrified of this, but I'm way too darn attracted to Four, to even think about calming down. So, I do the Dauntless thing, I pull my shirt over my head. Leaving me in my bra and kissing fake Tobias. Sure enough, we're back in the simulation room.

Tobias sits on the floor against the wall only a few feet away, "You are very brave," he says after a moment of silence.

"I'm sorry," I say

"For what?"

"That you had to see that," He beckons me towards him and then pulls me onto his lap and I rest my face on his neck, kissing his throat lightly, "Don't be. It is a very legitimate fear. Although I do have to say, I was pretty jealous of the other me," he says chuckling. And when I didn't respond, he pulled back to look at him.

"What's wrong, Tris? I said it's okay to be upset."

"It isn't a legitimate fear though! Who's afraid of freaking sex? It should be a piece of cake! We've been together through so much and for almost a year and I still can't! You're an almost twenty year old virgin because of me! It's all my fault! How can you even stand me?"

He looks at me calmly, "May I remind you that you are only seventeen.It's not like we're far behind on anything. And who cares about anybody else anyways? Being intimate isn't something that just comes with time. It also comes with trust. And so much more. And I don't just stand you Tris. I adore you. The only reason I would want it, is because it would be with you. That's all. I love you so much Tris. When it happens it will happen. And if it doesn't for a while, that's ok too Tris. When it does happen though, we'll be ready. And yes it may be unexpected. But you are overthinking it too much. I would never force you to do that like fake Four."

"But I do trust you, that's the thing! It's the Abnegation in me that makes me shy away from that stuff. But I'm scared. And I know I'm not pretty or curvy-"

He put a finger on my mouth to stop me, "Shh. You are Tris and you are perfect."

I roll my eyes. "I know you would never force me to do anything. And I'm pretty sure when we get there and it happens, I will want it... really badly. I already do!" He smiles at me, "I just worry about a lot. About a bunch of things. But I trust you with my life. And I love you too."

He smiles and rests his forehead to mine, "Good, I was beginning to think that the other Tobias was a better kisser than me or something," He says jokingly.

"Oh Shut up," I say, slapping his arm. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss. He wraps his arms around my waist and kisses me back.

"We should head back to our apartment now," I say. He sighs, but agrees.