The Fluffy Adventures of Yelena and Bucky

Part 8

   Bucky was so glad Yelena was there, even though it felt so strange to be comforted by her kiss. It wasn't unwelcome, she'd just never been touchy with him like that before. Back in the Red Room, it had always been words. And he'd used words to comfort her. 

   He was so used to being there for her, it felt backward to be crying in front of her, to be touched reassuringly by her. Natasha was different, she'd seen more of his feelings back then, and helped him a lot in many ways. 

   Yelena's relationship with him was significantly different than the one he shared with Natasha. 

   She had pissed him off a couple times with her questions and talking too much, but he was thankful for that, because it distracted him from his mind.  Maybe... she had been helping him for longer than either of them thought. 

   When she was escaping from the Red Room, when he'd grabbed her hand, he's surprised himself, and she'd smiled up into his eyes for the first time that night and the last time in over a decade. 

   Years and years passed, and some nights when he had peace and quiet, like in his hut in Wakanda, he'd think of Yelena and wonder where she'd decided to live her life. Who she was living it with. If she smiled wider than she had at the Red Room. 

   And when he never heard from her for so long, he'd wished and prayed every night that she was okay. It was as if she'd disappeared, and if it was for forever, then he'd smile and wish her well.

      He needed to know why.

   "Why'd I not hear from you sooner?" he asked. "It's been over ten years." Bucky couldn't hold back the twinge of hurt in his voice. He lowered his gaze back to his hands. 

   Yelena's said nothing for a few long seconds, then looked up at him. "I'm sorry, Bucky. I... It's complicated. I thought about coming to see you, but I was... I was really busy..."

   "Tell me the whole truth. Please,"

   "I was scared, okay? I wasn't sure that you'd want to see me. I wanted you to move on from the life you had in Hydra when you knew me. And then when I saw you on the news with that dude, Sam Wilson, you looked so different and happy that I felt I would disturb it if I reached out. I was afraid that I'd... trigger something like what happened last night. And... I guess I was right."

   "Oh," he wasn't sure what to say to that. She was right, even if he'd never kick her out of the house for the life of him. But she was also wrong. He felt happy when he was with her. He felt like he had something more to fight for than he had before. 

   Last night had been painful, but he still cared about her. He wasn't sure how long he'd carry the guilt of not searchign harder for her, but he hoped it'd subside. 

   "Yelena..." Bucky was scared to say it, but she really did matter to him. He closed his eyes for a moment, gathering courage to say those delicate words on his mind. "Yelena, you matter to me, and... I don't want you to leave because of this." 

   Yelena's eyes showed confiction, and he bit his lip, willing her to speak. Her eyes met his suddenly. "I've already hurt you enough, Bucky. I care..."

   She pulled her knees up to her chest. "I never wanted you to get hurt. And the one thing I was tryign to avoid has happened, I've caused that look in your eyes... I hate that look!" Tears welled up in her eyes, and she covered them with her hands, hiding her feelings a longstanding habit.

      Bucky gently pulled her closer to him, and it felt so  right to have her cuddled close to him like this. Her breaths shuddered, and she gulped, but didn't resist. "It'll be okay, Yelena. I... I'll be okay, someday." He whispered.

   She shifted to look at him, showing him her wide eyes. "Really? You really think so? After everything...?"

   "Yeah," he kissed her forehead. "I do."

   His whole body erupted into uncontrollable butterflies. What if she hated him for that? He'd never kissed her before, but right then she had kissed him, so it probably wasn't too forward.Ugh, too mushyyy, he thought. But right now, he was ignoring his thoughts, and that was for the best. 

   Leaps of faith were hard.

   But he knew the feeling all too well.

   The world was growing dark... Or was that just his eyelids lowering, blurring the lines of light and darkness. He was safe. He wasn't with Hydra anymore, and he wasn't in the Red Room.

   He was with a woman that he loved... and it felt cozy and open, like he could say... anything... to...her...

   Yelena's mouth fell open as he pecked her forehead softly and firmly. A sweet thank-you. But she hadn't done anything to deserve that, had she? 

   Now that she was sitting with him, she didn't want to ever leave his embrace. 

   Oh no. No, no, no, and last but not least, no! She pushed away from him, feeling raw and vulnerable, her heart racing like a sports car. Yelena wasn't sure why she was doing what she was, but she knew that if she didn't leave right now she might do things she'd regret. 

   And she couldn't have... feelings for him. No, he wouldn't want that. He'd always been so protective and brotherly to her that he'd push her back and their relationship would be tainted forever! 

   Standing over him, Yelena caught her breath and prepared to answer his questions. He was probably wondering why she yanked herself away from his hand, why she was hiding her face...

   She lowered her hands and gaped at him.

   Oh.

   He was like a puppy dog, with puffy, closed eyes and pink lips, and rosy cheeks. His chest rose and fell slowly and the rest of him was still. 

   He was asleep. Yelena heard herself chuckle.