Chapter 25

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Silence.

The ticking of the clock.

In the mirror, I stared. Seeing nothing but a fool. That's right. A fool.

Funny to think that all ended in just two weeks. So cruel that it had to come on the moment least expected. So cruel that I can't face everyone anymore. It could've been my long-awaited dream, but all vanished when the words that came out of her mouth slashed every joy out of the heart of mine.

But, I can't blame her. And, the words she screamed were probably the truth: I'm just nothing, but a pathetic, desperate fool. Miserable. One who he can never truly want. One he can use to get over her. A mere replacement. A placeholder.

I had run out of tears to cry over it. In fact, I should've never wasted even one in the first place. We just dated for two weeks. Nothing should've been serious at this point. Crying over a two-week old romance? That sounds shallow.

But, it might be a sign: I can't love someone like him, or worse, I'm cursed to never fall in love with anyone. Either way, I still can't have him.

When I heard three knocks on my door, I turned and saw Mama opening it, still wearing that worried face she had since last night. "Nak, ayaw niya talagang umalis," she said, her voice seemingly tired. "Kahit pinagalitan ko na, hindi raw siya aalis hangga't hindi mo siya kakausapin."

I heaved a sigh, as I held onto the desk. I shut my eyes, sorting out my thoughts. I knew, from this day on, my mind will be at loss of peace, but I shall try to settle things first. And, the only way I know is to confront him.

Stepping out of my room, I headed to the door. I saw him at the gate, just sitting on the pavement. One hour had passed, he was still begging to see me. I've heard how Mama scolded him, disappointed upon knowing what had happened last night. She tried her best to tell him to leave, but he never did. He was persistent, but I've had enough.

As I paced through the yard, my chest grew heavier, but I have to do this. Or else, things might get even worse than I thought.

He heard my approaching footsteps, standing up quickly. I swung the gate open, meeting his eyes, filled with regret. He looks miserable with his messy hair, and the joy he always wears is now gone. "Icarus, I'm sorry," he uttered, his voice shaking. "Hindi ko in-expect na makikita tayo ni Francine."

For a few seconds, I didn't move. I just stared at him, feeling empty after everything that had happened. I found my words, getting through the lump in my throat. My mind and heart were pulling me sideways, but in the end, I reached for his cheek. I tried to light up my face with a smile, even as something held me back. "Raiver," I began, my voice breaking slightly. "Dahil sa nangyari, wala na akong mukhang maiharap sa mga tao. I'm sorry, but we have to end this way. That's the only thing I could think of for our good."

"Don't listen to Francine. And I'm not using you to get over her. Gusto kita, Icarus—"

"Raiver, I'm not doing this anymore. Just to let you know, nadamay rin ang nananahimik na pangalan ng tatay ko. Kahit ilang sampal pa ni Francine, kakayanin ko siguro. Pero, ang madawit si Papa dahil lang minahal kita," I shook my head. "'Di ko kaya, Raiver."

He wrapped my arms around me. I longed for it, but somehow, it slowly felt like nothing this time. "Please, Icarus. We can fix this together. Just trust me."

A tear escaped from my eye. At that moment, I was trying to understand why it had to happen this way. I was just trying to love. I was just trying to fall in love. It became easy. But, undoing everything? It was... never.

But, I had to.

My hands pushed him away, as I stepped back from his embrace. "Aalis na rin ako, Raiver. Don't worry, you will eventually forget about me. And, I will surely forget about us."

He didn't let go of my hand, but when I was able to pull it back, I rushed to close the gate. "Icarus," he called me again.

I turned my back, even if I didn't want to. "Go back home, Raiver. Ayaw kong maabutan ka pa ng parents mo dito."

Before another tear could follow, I ran back to our house. I rushed to my bedroom, brushing past Mama and closed the door. I couldn't help it anymore; I burst into tears, sliding my back against the door until I reached the floor. I embraced my own knees as my tears fell one-by-one.

Silence was broken by each sob I made.

Heart was filled with sadness and regret.

I clenched my fist, like I was about to throw to someone. Instead, I gently hit it in my chest a few times, trying to ease the weight I carried. This should've never been painful at all.

But it is.

Exhausted, I dragged my feet until I reached the edge of the bed. I sat, as I watched the screen of my phone flooded with messages and missed calls. The last time I opened it, I saw a video of us last night. How Francine stormed. How she threw her palm on my cheek. How she splashed the wine on my face. People witnessed the scene she caused, and how I looked pathetic.

But what clenched my heart in great ache was the comments mentioning Papa's name. They, somehow, knew I was the first child of a renowned artist in the city. They were mad at how I brought disgrace to his name. Everyone spat like how Francine did.

I could take it all. Even if they feast over it for how long. Even if they straight up tell me that I will never be as great as my father.

But, I could never take how they brought him up and how we lost him.

If I had known it all, I wouldn't have done this.

I guess, this is the price I'm paying for being desperate.

For being a fool.

I looked up at the calendar hung on the wall. I only have less than a week left. I guess I have to leave too soon.

Since the time I came here, this city did nothing but take me back to things I have already dealt with before. Each scar of my past is a fresh wound again. Every regret is haunting me, echoing in my mind. I'm slowly losing reasons again—to keep my head up.

The fact that I took a lot of courage to get over all those misery I faced, just to endure it all over again.

Papa, you don't deserve this. I'm sorry.

Maybe, it might've been better...

...If you were still here.

T.S. STORIES #4: Say Don't Go (Completed)Tahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon