T.S. STORIES #4: Say Don't Go (Completed)

Chapter 26

Two days before my flight.

The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, casting a sterile glow on the place.

I decided to call the girls. At the coffee shop, where they saw me for the first time in a while, I came in my hoodie and cap. Kind of fit when you don't want anyone to recognize you, right after the world turned against you. Kind of fit when you really don't want to go outside, but you have to. And, my reason why I had to is because I wanted to say goodbye to them, for now.

Just as doubt began to gnaw at the edges of my resolve, the cafe door swung open, and Annie and Kristelle walked in. Relief washed over me, but upon seeing their faces etched with dismay—almost mirroring my own—I sighed. They tried to smile, at least. They reached the table where I was, and together they gave me a warm, big hug. They've heard the news, for sure.

"Kamusta ka na, Icarus?" Kristelle began, as they took their seats.

"Not really okay," I answered honestly. "But, I know, lilipas din 'to. It'll take time, but for sure, I'll be fine."

"Mamimiss ka namin," Annie said. "Babalik ka naman next summer, 'di ba?"

I smiled, despite the clenching ache in me. "Of course! I'll just make sure I'll be coming back much stronger than I am today."

"No matter what happens, we're always here for you, Icarus. Anumang sasabihin ng lahat, alam naming wala kang ginawang masama. You really don't deserve all of this mess," Kristelle reassured.

"And for your sake, 'wag ka munang mag-online," Annie added. "Napaka-toxic ng mga tao. Lahat na lang, pinapaniwalaan, without even knowing the context. Kahit ako, maiimbyerna kakabasa sa mga pinagsasabi nila. And you know, what? They even justified girlie's actions? And I'm like, what's with these people?"

"But, Icarus. Tandaan mo. You don't owe anyone an explanation. Kung sino man ang dapat mag-explain, si Raiver 'yon at hindi ikaw. At, kung mahal ka nga ni Raiver, let him clear the air by himself. In the first place, siya dapat ang sisihin sa nangyari dahil hindi niya na-settle 'yong unfinished business niya with his ex when he chose you."

Kristelle has a point. And, that hit me hard. Maybe, I should stop blaming myself for what had happened.

It might be his fault, all long.

Our conversation went on, a bittersweet talk as we shared each other's worries. Apart from this heartbreak, I still fear what future lies ahead of us. We are all about to finish college next year. Kristelle will go to med school. Annie will finally be a full-time agent in a call center. Meanwhile, I really don't have any idea where to go after all of this.

But as the afternoon sun started to set, casting long shadows on the tables, a heavy silence fell over us. It was time to say goodbye. We stepped out of the shop, greeted with the city air once again. "Thank you, Annie, Kristelle," I said, my voice thick with emotion. "I really had a great time with you."

"You're welcome. You call us anytime," Kristelle replied warmly.

I gave them a hug for one last time. But, when I pulled myself away, there was a sudden shift to their smiles. Their eyes darted at something just behind me. "Icarus," Kristelle breathed, her voice barely a whisper. "Andito siya."

My heart hammered against my ribs as I whipped my head around, the blood draining from my face. There, standing a few feet away, I figured out it was Raiver. Before I could even react, he reached my arm. "Icarus," he called, softly. "Can we talk?"