Heal

Chapter Thirteen

Catherine Carter called herself a mother but immediately rejoiced at the sight of money as she sold the only daughter she had left.
Catherine Carter insisted it was all Willow's fault that she was living in pain and misery when she wanted every man that looked at her even though she were a married woman.
Catherine Carter claimed to not have gotten over her daughter's death yet she  jumped around and danced for another man on the day of her daughter's funeral.
She was like this way before Jodie died and guilt was catching up to her.
She forced her underage daughter on a grown man. She gave birth to Noah to trap her husband in a toxic marriage.
She was cunning way before Willow was born.

Even now as Kevin caressed Willow's body she watched with amusement.
She watched through the stained window as Willow was pushed over the car and her legs spread wide open for Kevin.
Catherine Carter did not even care that she did not see her son, Noah.

She did not care that his closet was empty as she searched more money to buy more drugs before she let herself loose for men she barely knew.
Catherine Carter was never really a mother because what kind of mother finds joy in seeing their child cry and beg for help?
Seeking money through her daughter?
She was evil and even when her darkest secrets consumed her thoughts, she never really wanted to change her ways to better the lives for her children because she called herself a mother.

***
Ma'am Rosa said Noah was doing well but he constantly asked for his sister. Willow couldn't find the guts to see her brother after she disowned him.
She felt weak in the eyes of her brother.
That was the only person Willow wanted to see and have smile on their face.
She wanted to make her brother proud but that seemed like a farfetched wish that now seemed too impossible for Willow to achieve.

She spent the rest of her week in fear. Fear that Kevin might come back and abuse her.
He had touched her in the most sensitive parts of her body. Right in front of her house where her mother was. Where she thought, even though it was lie, she was at least safe. But then again, her mother had sold her to Kevin for whatever reason.
She had no one.
Her skin still tingled from Kevin's searing touch.
She had to take everything Kevin gave because that was what she now was — his bitch.

The only time she seemed to be at peace was when she was with Han-eun.
Even though it wasn't a good idea that Han-eun was around Willow so much because her father often beat her up, Han-eun still looked at Willow with a smile on her face in hope she returned that gesture with her dazzling smile and glimmering brown eyes that Han-eun had grown to love.

"I want to see a smile on your face every single day. I want to hear you laugh and I want you to be okay." Han-eun said as she stared at the night sky.
The two girls sat on the bonnet of Han-eun's car just out of the city.

"It's difficult for me to do so, Han-eun. You of all people should know that." Willow replied as she played with her hands.
She loved being around Han-eun but she sometimes felt as if Han-eun didn't understand what she was feeling. Maybe because Han-eun didn't have to take care of two people and work in order to keep them alive.
Sometimes Willow forgot about herself. Smiling and being happy wasn't something she needed. That was out of the picture.

"The moon taught me that there is beauty in darkness too, that even when I don't feel whole, I am enough."

"Where did you get that from?" Willow said chuckling at Han-eun's words.

"I learnt it from a book of poems I read years  and I finally understand it. After so many years of going through shit."

"It's touching." Willow agreed.

"You read poems?"

"Not really. I listen to a lot of music though."

"Gimme a quote on music."

"Hhhmm, let me think..."
"𝑀𝑢𝑠𝑖𝑐 𝑖𝑠 𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑓𝑒𝑒𝑙𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑠 𝑠𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑑 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒." Willow said.

"Wow. That is— Wow." Han-eun was the one to chuckle.

Han-eun turned around and looked at Willow and pulled her hands that were now free from bandages.
"There is this term my brother told me when I was young and mental illness free." Han-eun began as her palms sizzled with heat as she held Willow. She refused to let go of her.
"𝑊𝑎𝑏𝑖-𝑠𝑎𝑏𝑖. A Japanese concept and art of imperfect beauty. It means 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑙𝑎𝑠𝑡. 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑠. 𝑛𝑜𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔'𝑠 𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑓𝑒𝑐𝑡."

"Mmm". Willow hummed. " kinda sounds like us." She added eyeing Han-eun.

"I figured it would be our thing. We have so much going on and we just need to remind ourselves that we will be there for each other. We're both imperfect individuals that have joined forces to defeat whatever we're going through."

"We remind ourselves of that too much, Han-eun. Feeling depressed and miserable has become what we think about on a daily basis. We should help each other heal, like when we're together, we should help each other forget. Get over the past and maybe finding the path to happiness— which is too idealistic for me."

"Heal." Han-eun repeated as if the word sounded foreign in her mouth.
"We should help each other heal. I like that." Han-eun nodded as excitement danced in her eyes and Willow couldn't help but giggle at how optimistic she was.

"You know what I want?" Willow said suddenly.

"What?" Han-eun asked as she stared at the night sky with wonder.

"I want to try living my life as a different person. I want to go to a place where nobody knows me and live as if I have no history at all."
Han-eun turned and faced the girl.

"Wait for me and we'll do that together."

Willow slid down from the car to the ground where Han-eun stood.
She joined their hands once more and looked at Han-eun with eyes that did not express friendship but love. Though she wouldn't dare to say those words.
Han-eun let go of Willow's hands and cupped her cheeks.

"You have the most beautiful looking eyes, Willow. I could get lost in them forever and I wouldn't mind that. Looking at your eyes makes everything better. It makes the pain less painful. It's makes the ache in my heart disappear. I want you to always know that."
Han-eun said before she pressed her lips against Willow's. Sending blazing hot fire all over the shorter girl's body as she stood on her toes and embrace Han-eun's kiss.
Welcoming a new feeling that she did not know she needed.

Their eyes fluttered shut as they consumed each other in a kiss that felt like eternity. A kiss that brought endless hopes and dreams and desires. Something they wouldn't have ever dreamed of having or dare think off.

Willow's lips tasted just as sweet as they looked. Her lips lush and captivating. Han-eun wanted more of her lips and so much more.
Han-eun's lips resembled fruit. Sweet and soft and delicate. The desire Willow had only increased as their lips danced together in unison.

They pulled each other closer not wanting any space to be left between them. This had been the closest they had ever been and it felt like heaven. They kissed each others' sorrows away.
Softly and tenderly. They kissed each other with affection and passion to the extent they wanted to unravel each other (𝑠𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑚𝑠 𝑖𝑛 𝑔𝑎𝑦). This kiss spoke all of words they both wanted to remain unsaid. Han-eun kissed Willow patiently and with great care. Their bodies went wild and Han-eun felt goosebumps fill her body.

They pulled away and stared at each other breathless. Words unable to describe what they were feeling. Words unable to explain the desire they had boiling inside them.
They both knew, internally, then and there they have fallen for each other.

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I know! They shouldn't have kissed (cries) but I felt like they had too. We all know they like like each other, we needed romance after Chapter Eleven.

~Sikhu