【Red Ink || ATEEZ OT8】

The Tornness of a Soul | CHAP 13

As i slumped back into my office chair, i wondered what the hell i was doing with my life, and i have accepted this, i could've easily went to another job, a legit job. At this very moment i was really thinking about leaving, i would get this night shift over with, and then simply never came back. 

But i knew deep down, i couldn't and i wouldn't either way, I had this connection, and I couldn't stop thinking about Yeosang's reaction if i never showed up again, and though i hate to admit San was starting to grow on me, though i would never admit that to him personally. 

I was so tired and worn out, my mind kept thinking about Hongjoong is he alright? I kept thinking about the humans that were in the 'Basement" as well, there was no good in this place, and i truly didn't know how to feel about that. 

This hour of day is when i do paperwork or research, honestly since nobody really tells me everything i spent a lot of time researching, either new medical info, or folklore. It's silly. 

I was dreading to see Yeosang, He had way of knowing what my mood was, and i hated it, he always knew when i was upset, and sometimes it bothered me, because when i'm upset i don't like to talk about it, but Yeosang finds a way to pull the info from me, it's ironic because i'm always supposed to checking up on him yet he always checks up on me. 

His personality was changed quite a lot since i fed him, he's been more energetic, more alive, and im planning to nurse my blood every now and then, just make sure hes healthy. But he doesn't know that. 

I was busy searching god-knows-what folklore to maybe expand my mind on certain 'patients' when i got a notification from Mingi. 


"Hey, remember your working night swift tonight, and i'm going to leave, if you need anything, text me."

I sighed at the text and just turned off my phone, He's been trying to get close to me, and most people would be scared of him or report him to the police, and honestly, i have no idea why i wasn't acting like that either, why i was just obeying his will, agreeing to his harsh words. 

I was then caught in another trance about what i was really doing here. 

I sighed and put my head on my desk, when i closed my eyes, flashes of corpses, screaming, and blood filled my mind. It was hard to focus, the horrifying pictures of inhumane suffering. That i just let happen and almost enjoyed. 

Fuck.. 

I put my head up and propped it up with my arm, i was hit with a wave of fatigue and tiredness. And it wasn't even 8PM, i wondered what Wooyoung was doing, did he eat the breakfast i made him? was he studying right now? 

I was trying to think about things to just my relax my restless mind, but nothing worked as i remembered Wooyoung i remember the way he held onto me and cried, which still hurt my heart thinking about that. 

I sighed, honestly i used to think suicide was a stupid concept, as who would want to end their own lives, but honestly, seeing people literally getting killed and their last remaining blood dripping on me as they begged for their last breath of mercy, i now found a new freedom in suicide, the right of choosing to end one's life, because they can at their own mercy and will. 

And i found something beautiful in that, the freedom, to die, no is asked to be born, but yet you can take away the very life that created you, it's a story within its own right, and i was starting to feel interest in that story. 

My thoughts were shut down, by loud knocking and a voice i could never forget, San. 

"Jonghooooo~~" His sweet high pitched voice, he sounded extra sweet this time. 

I measly stood up and walked to open my office door, i guess he know how much emotional stoll was going to pushed down upon me. 

"Jongho~" He said, soft as ever, tears in his eyes, he seemed scared, he seemed hurt. 

He hugged me, wrapping himself around me, squeezing. 

It felt good, being comforted so tightly, so secure, so lovable.

I wrapped my arms around him and buried my head into his shoulder, since he was just a bit taller than me.

"Listen, im so sorry, i know this job sucks.. i've been trying to warn you.." His words were so quiet and right, i hate how oblivious i am to things, such obvious things. 

I wasn't crying though, surprisingly, i was just embracing the warmness of the hug that San was giving me, i haven't been hugged like this in such a long time, it felt so nice, and i didn't know how badly i needed it. 

The moment ever lasted so long as San broke away from the hug, he looked broken, now i can finally recognize the broken feelings on his face that i was never able to describe before. 

It was the same broken feelings i have been developing, all his warnings, all his words and weird mind games that i always thought was a joke. But, was actually a hidden warning to all the pure evilness that lied in the very shadows of the lab. 

"I know- forgive me, i don't read warnings that well, i never really have, or if i do catch them i brush them under the carpet, but i can't simply ignore this, why- why do you still work here? if you know what happens here?" My words curious and polite as they could be. 

I could see San's eyes looking side-to-side as he was trying to find the answer himself, on why he stayed here, was he here for the same reason i couldn't leave? This whole place and it's weird hold onto people? 

"I- i- i have no idea, why i'm still here to be frank, i just never seemed to have the good intentions of leaving such a horrid place, its like im forced to be here, its weird, or i have the mindset i somehow have the power of helping the victims, i guess that's why when we get new doctors i warm them as fast as i can, when they still have time and chance to leave. "

Finally someone else that feels and understands the burdening energy that is here, i was beginning to feel crazy if no one mentioned this feeling that i could feel everyday, even in my home life, it was assuming my life. I guess that was everyone here, the patients, the doctors, the human? what do i call them? Mingi's human toys? gosh, that felt impure to say, to degrade them to such mere standards. Toys... not even humans..

"What if me and you just leave? we just make it the escape?" I said stupidly.