Exposure

Chapter 22

I've never liked the smell of hospitals. Every time I've been to one, I had been able to leave. To escape the smell of stale medicine and sanitized metals. But now, I'm trapped and the smell overwhelms me. There is an IV in my arm with dark red blood flowing through the tubes. I can't tell if the blood is going in me or coming out. Either way I turn my head away from it and come face to face with Peter.

There are dark almost hollow looking bags under his eyes. I suddenly remember how Adrien held the knife to my throat. There was blood. A lot of it. That's all I can or want to remember.

"You're okay?" I say softly. It comes out as a question even though it was a statement to comfort myself.

"I'm fine, sore." He pauses and furrows his eyebrows. "How are you feeling Ivy?" I don't know what to say. I feel disappointed that I let all of this happen. That I let my family down and put Peter and Dad in danger. I feel stupid for trusting Eve and hurt that she betrayed me.

"Where is Dad? How bad is he?" I ask ignoring his question.

"He's not bad at all. I was just with him. He told me to stay with you."

"Then bring him in here," I say as sternly as I can. My throat is dry and irritated. Peter doesn't move. I know he is lying. Dad could really be okay, but I can tell that Peter hasn't left that seat.

"You almost died Ivy. I'm not going anywhere. Your mom is with him, I swear." Now I can't tell if he's telling the truth or not.

"It hurts to talk," I finally answer. My voice is almost a whisper.

"I thought you were dead." I turn my head towards the door straight in front of me, avoiding his dark gaze. "I would have no one if I lost you." I can feel my throat closing up. Peter is right, and it breaks my heart that I almost put him in that position.

"I'm sorry," I quiver. Tears slip from my eyes. "None of this was supposed to happen...I never meant to hurt you Peter. Or anyone else." He scoots his chair up right next to the bed. His gentle fingers stroke my hot and wet face.

"You hurt all of us when you lied. Now we're scared. Really scared for you."

"Why?"

"None of us no how long you had been taking those drugs. What they have done to your body...we just don't know." A harsh look comes across his face. As if I'm the most despicable thing he has ever seen.

"I'm done with them, Peter. I promise you I will never do this again." He strokes my face with his hand, and I just want to continue crying because I know he will let me. But there is something that he needs to tell me. He's hesitating so I force myself to stop letting the tears fall. His comforting lips brush against mine. It's been too long since I've been close to him like this. It only lasts for a split second though. "What's going on?"

He shuts his eyes for a brief moment.

"I don't know when I will be able to trust you again. Because right now, I don't." His words come out jagged. I furrow my eyebrows. My mind is blank and my words have been swallowed up by the hallow feeling Peter has left me.

"I know. I've really fucked up." I let the feeling of regret overwhelm me until I can't take it anymore. "What can I do?" He shakes his head.

"Nothing right now. I just need some time." Time? Time to trust me again or time away from me? Peter can't leave me now. I need his support more than ever.

"Please don't leave me," I beg. He gently grabs my hands and leans over to press his forehead against mine.

"I won't leave you, Ivy. Okay?" I nod my head slightly. "I care about you so much. I just want this to be behind all of us. I want things to be like how they before, but for me,  I need to be able to trust you."