𝐁𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 | 𝐒. 𝐂𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐲

Chapter 17

ALANI CASTILLO
Earlier that Day.

Sonya came to pick Raelyn up yesterday and I've been having some much needed me time with everything that's happened between Wardell and I. I made myself a mocktail and went to my drawing room. The room was pure white with all my old and new paintings scattered around it. There was a couch against one of the walls with an old office chair beside it. The room was lazily decorated because I didn't want to risk getting paint on the furniture. I always keep this room locked because I don't want anyone seeing my paintings. It's like giving them free entry into my thoughts and shit. I still don't know how Wardell got in here, though.

After sitting my drink down on the coffee table, I decided to light up the blunt I was smoking last night. It's been 5 whole years since I last smoked anyway and I was definitely in a great vibe. I opened some black paint and grabbed a small brush and started getting into a rhythm, letting go of each emotion I was feeling. I didn't even want to think about my situation or how dumb I looked feening over a taken man. Again. I'm always putting myself in the most awkward situations bro.

I started seeing my piece come together nicely before I heard a knock at my door. I rolled my eyes before slowly walking down the stairs. I swung the door open and saw Ayesha on the other side. "Hey, Ish. What are you doing here?" I stepped aside and let her in.

"I just came over to check on you." She replies, looking concerned. Here we go. "Are you?"

"Yeah, I'm good." I lied. Partially.

"So you haven't been painting." She pointed to my stained hands.

"Alright fine." I shrugged. I offered Ayesha a glass of wine but she kindly declined. I then asked her to come back upstairs with me. Besides Wardell, she's the only who's seen my paintings.

"This is really... deep." Ayesha eyes gaze over the painting, analysing it.

"It is." I say, pulling out the chair for her.

"I'm assuming this has something to do with you and Steph?" Ayesha asks.

I shook my head slightly to stop myself from crying. "Yeah, it just symbolises how I feel him slipping more and more away from me. At some point, we were so in tune with each other. It felt like I couldn't breathe without him. Friends for not. Now, it's all different. Like there's a disconnect."

Ayesha nods, letting me vent.

"I don't feel that spark anymore. I know I love him but I don't feel in love with him anymore which is weird. When I was with Wesley, I always thought about him. Even with Klay, I was always drawn to Wardell. But since he's been with Kiana, all that has changed. It's like he won't allow himself to be that way with me anymore. I mean, I understand why-" I stopped when I felt myself rambling. "Sorry."

Ayesha chuckled before responding. "It's okay."

"This isn't weird for you?" I asked. I mean, she was married to the man for over a decade. It must be hard listening to me talk about him like this.

"No, I'm so over that now." Ayesha says honestly. I could tell she was being sincere. "And besides, we're friends now. I want to know how you're feeling."

I nodded, realising something. "I never apologised to you."

"Apologise to me? For what?" She looked at me all confused.

"For what Wardell and I did to you. He was your husband, he was supposed to be loyal to you but I also played a huge part in that. The sneaking around and the lies, you didn't deserve that. Seeing how close we are now, it makes me regret how I went about everything. We could've been really good friends back then. I know there's nothing I can say to make it better now but I truly am sorry. Please know that."