My Mistakes

Chapter 10: Kicked out

I starred at the doctor. Was he crazy? I know I'm not having twins. I looked over at Kellin. He was as white as a ghost. I couldn't tell if he was worried or happy. Then I looked at Kellin's mom. She was smiling but had tears falling from her face. Tears of joy? And me? I had no idea what to think. The first thought that came to my mind was 'My life is over'.  The doctor was grinning. I was crying on the inside.

"Well that concludes your check up I need you to come back in a couple months." said the doctor. Then he left the room. Everyone just sat there in silence. Kellin's mom was still crying tears of joy. At least I think they were tears of joy. Kellin sat there still white as a ghost with his mouth hanging open.

"So did anyone hear about the genders?" I said breaking the moment. Kellin's mom wiped her eyes and cleared her throat.

"The doctor said that there would be one boy and one girl."

"Well that's good." I said looking at my stomach.Kellin still sat there. I think he was in shock. I got up and walked over to him.

"Babe?" I said grabbing his hand. "Are you ok?"

"You're having tw-tw-tw-twins." he said starring at my stomach.

"Yea. I thought you were ready to be a dad?"

Just then Kellin got up and flung the chair across the room. After he did that he stormed out of the room and sat in the car. The nurses came rushing in and so did the doctors. Kellin left a big hole in the wall. I felt so embarrassed. Kellin's mom told me to go wait outside and that she would go to the car to calm him down. As I sat outside in front of the hospital I watched Kellin get out of the car to talk to his mom. A few minutes went by and I saw Kellin fall to his knees in tears. Then his mom waved me over. As soon as I got over there Kellin grabbed me by the waist, pulled me close to him, and wrapped his arms around me.

"Forgive me. Forgive me for everything." he said weeping in my ear. I started to cry. This pregnancy was tearing us apart. Not only us Sadie left because nobody payed attention to her anymore. Kellin's mom and dad were fighting more than Kellin and I. If I wasn't so stupid that night none of this would have happened. Why was it my life? It's always my life. Abused by my mom's boyfriend, watched my dad die, get pregnant. I was screwing up everyone's lives. After an hour long car ride we arrived home. Kellin helped me out of the car. As soon as I got into the house I walked back to the bathroom, closed the door, and locked it. I took my razor and broke it so the razor blade would come out. I haven't cut myself for 4 months. I took the blade to my arm and attacked. I forgot how much it burns. It was a relief from my messed up life. After I realised what I did I fell to the ground in tears. My weeps were so loud Kellin heard them. Just then Kellin broke down the door.  He came into me on the ground crying with my arms bleeding and the broken razor on the sink. He ran to go get his mom. His mom came back and started to cry. Kellin picked me up and rushed me to the car. His mom came out with a cold towel and her purse. Why is this happening? It wasn't that bad. Just then I looked at my wrist. Blood was gushing out by the minute. I had cut a vain and if I didn't get immediate care I could die and so could the babies. We went to the closest hospital and they rushed me in.

"WE NEED SOMEONE OVER HERE!!! SHE CUT A VAIN!!!! SHE'S PREGNANT!!!!" screamed Kellin. I was taken back to what seemed like a surgery room. There they checked everything. They numbed my arm. I didn't dare to look at my arm while they were doing whatever they were doing. I could see Kellin and his mom through a glass window. Kellin was on the ground crying. His mom was holding him close to her crying too. It was an hour or two before the doctors were done. They finally brought me out to a room. Kellin ran in crying. He grabbed me and held me tightly. His mom came in crying but mad at the same time. Kellin got up and looked at his mom.

"Mom she's alive." he said with tears in his eyes.

"I see that." she said more mad.

"What is your problem?" Kellin asked her.

"When this whole thing is over you and Elyssa are packing your things and living with her grandma. I'm done with both of your guy's shit!"