Forsaken: Y/n x Marvel

Chapter 20: Not Okay?

"Y/n!!" Bucky shouted while knocking on her door. "Y/n, get out here!" The door unlocked and he stepped back.

"What part of 'leave me the fuck alone' wasn't clear enough for you?" she shouted.

"Y/n, you need help!!" Bucky shouted, matching her tone.

"See, that's what everyone keeps telling me, but nobody knows how to do it!!" Y/n shouted back, and Bucky's face softened.

"You think I haven't tried to sleep? Every night I close my eyes, hoping to get a minute of sleep without hearing those voices, their screams, without seeing their faces!!" she said, her voice trembling.

"Please don't make me sleep. I'm scared, Bucky. I'm scared of the voices, I'm scared of the faces, the screams." She listed off, looking him in the eyes as she said the following words. "I'm scared of myself... you should be too. Why do you think I still haven't gone to see Pepper and Morgan? Why haven't I tried to find anyone from my childhood? You know why, Bucky?" She asked, and he shook his head with tears in his eyes, unable to say anything.

"Because they have no way of defending themselves from me." She said, and he shook his head, taking her hands in his.

"No, no, no, Y/n. You would never hurt any of them. You wouldn't do that, Y/n." He said, and she yanked her hands out of his grip.

"You don't know that!!!" She yelled, and he looked at her pitifully.

"Y/n, you're the only one who doesn't know that," Bucky said, seeing himself in her.

"Go away, Bucky," she said, and he shook his head.

"No. I'm not leaving you again. You're not going through this alone. If there's someone who could understand a fraction of what you're going through, it's me..." Bucky said, cupping her hands in his.

"And me," Wanda said from behind him. "I know what you feel like. Like you have harmed people beyond forgiveness. And when you have the chance to be happy, your mind takes it away from you, thinking you don't deserve it." She said as she walked closer.

"Does it get better?" Y/n asked, giving up her defensiveness and crying into Bucky's arms. "Does it ever stop hurting?" she asked like a little kid.

Wanda ran her hands through Y/n's hair and calmed her down. "Yes, it gets better, but that starts with you, darling," Wanda said.

"Wanda?" she said, lifting her head from Bucky's chest.

"Yes?" Wanda responded.

"I don't think I can be alone tonight," she admitted. "Before Bucky came, I-" she stopped herself.

"Y/n, you what?" Bucky asked. He moved her aside gently and opened the door to see a huge piece of glass from the window, slightly stained in blood.

Wanda lifted Y/n's sleeves and saw nothing. She lifted her shirt, which was black, but the fabric started to stain red. "Y/n!?" Wanda said, completely horrified.

"I'm not okay," Y/n cried, and Wanda hugged her as Bucky stormed away in anger.
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Bucky stormed downstairs, his face a mask of fury, and grabbed Tony by the chest, slamming him against the nearest wall. The impact was loud, drawing everyone's attention.

"What's your problem, Barnes?" Tony growled, trying to push him off.

"My problem? My problem is you!" Bucky shouted, his voice shaking with rage. "You acted like everything was fine, like she had to be okay because you couldn't handle the truth. You made her feel like she wasn't allowed to be not okay!"