Call Me Hurt

Chapter 9 - Hope

Dissociation: that was the new word in EJ's life. She had been talking to her therapist about her episodes where she felt disconnected from her body, and sometimes the world.

EJ was afraid that the feeling was too surreal to have a label. But now that she had a name for what she experienced, and she was told it wouldn't last forever, she began to feel less alone. Now when she would dissociate, she didn't feel the need to fight it off or worry that she would never get out of it. Instead, she embraced it. She thought if her brain needed a break from the world, she would wait patiently until it was ready to come back.
She still wasn't sure whether to tell Rose about us or not. She was almost certain that seeing us didn't have a name, or if it did it would make her sound crazy.

"Are you sure you want me at this gala thing?" EJ asked, struggling to fit into a short sequin blue dress.

"You have to come! Otherwise, I'll be stuck talking to all of these boring, rich-y fancy pants representatives who will try and convince me to work with their company." Rikki replied from outside the change room.

"Would that be the worst thing?"

"Well, it is a bit of a problem considering I'm not a chef. I'm just the grandchild of a paster sauce creator."

EJ stepped out of the changing room, hiking and pulling at the tight dress. "I look like Hannah Montana."

Rikki scanned EJ for a moment. "Hm, well the colour is right, but it looks too fun. We need something more serious."

"But this is all I can afford. Anything fancy is way beyond my price range."

"Don't worry about the price, Eej. Consider it a gift from my grandfather. He was ecstatic when he heard I was bringing someone and demanded to buy you an outfit."

"Rikki, I can't just let your grandpa buy an expensive dress for me. I'll just pick something from home. It might not be that fancy, but it'll do."

"Wait, before you say no..." Rikki began scanning the dresses around the store, until they picked out a navy-blue lace dress. "Please, try this one on."

This dress was much easier to put on and this time it didn't look like she was dressing for a twenty-first birthday party.

"What do you think?" she asked.

"You look hot! Fancy enough for sucking up to the big wigs, and short enough for party time. Plus, it makes your hair pop."

"It's probably expensive," EJ sighed.

"I'm serious, EJ, don't sweat it. My grandfather is more than happy to help out. Consider it his way of accepting you into our family."

"I'm already part of the family? He's never met me."

"Hey, it's the Italian way. Come on, let's buy the dress."

"Wait, what are you going to wear?"

"Literally the sexiest thing you'll ever see."

As Rikki paid for the items, EJ waited outside, gazing at a red coat with a large black bow on the chest displayed in the store window. She counted in her head how much money she would have left over if she bought it, but quickly dismissed the idea, knowing well that she had another dozen things to pay for before considering buying something this expensive.

"Maybe someday," I said.

EJ sighed. "Please, my Jobseeker's allowance barely pays the rent. I don't think I've had the money for new clothes since I was twenty."

"What happens to the money that your dad sends you?"

"Mum usually takes it. I don't know what she spends it on, but it certainly isn't bills."